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Sunday, 24 October 2010

Finally ... the final 3

So this is going to be the conclusion to my ‘coming out’ saga; where I am just going to combine everyone else...
G-Unit and Cinderella:
These are two more of my closest friends; G-Unit is bi and Cinderella is straight, although they have a really close bond (it can get confusing for outsiders lol). At this point me and Joe were ... together(? Its complicated), and so we had previously discussed “what we were” and came to the conclusion that we were ‘friends with benefits’ (or fuck buddies). So I had previously decided to tell these two as I loved G-Unit and wanted to tell her, but this meant telling Cinderella as they are inseparable. So I was trying to find the correct time and place to tell them and so me and Joe went to Cinderella’s house for a party and went early. Once we arrived, we were holding hands and stealing glances, which we thought we were being sly about but apparently we weren’t. So in the end, I got fed up with waiting and just came out and said it. They reacted unlike most others I have told; but in a good way. Their response was filled with loads (and I mean LOADS) of questions and sighs and giggles. It was nice ... and slightly unsettling. But by telling them I have become even closer to them and can tell them anything!
Chill is someone I have known for just over a year and he is out and proud. He is really friendly and stereotypically gay (I don’t mean that as a negative). We met at a few parties and he now goes to my college; he also works on the college magazine with me and I help teach his class, but other than that we don’t see much of each other haha. So last night I was sat there and I had been thinking about coming out to him for about a week and so I decided to do it. We had randomly started talking on Facebook, when it quickly escalated into flirting. Tbh I was probably the one to instigate it, but I misread the winking emoticon and so it all began. It was relatively straight forward. I have told a few people about Joe, but obviously left out details and gender, and so I just told him that I felt guilty about lying – he said the flirting was unfair as I was straight – and that ‘said person’ was called Joe and was a guy. This began our lengthy conversation about how I am bi and completely head over heels in love with Joe. So only time will tell how this will end
So I decided to group together everyone else as I am technically out to quite a few people; but most of them are not overly interesting stories or are simply repetitive: so I shall give you all the shorthand version. I came out to several people at a party playing truth or dare: a devilishly devious game for some. I didn’t actually mind admitting it to them as it was fun and light hearted.
I came out to a lesbian couple at another party, which was quite uneventful. I knew they HAD to accept me and they didn’t go to my college so I didn’t mind: although one kept asking awkward questions :/
I was also ‘outed’ by Dana to a few people: including her mum and brother. I was a bit annoyed at the time as she did not ask me and I found out by her saying ‘I had to tell my mum because she thought we were screwing’; but I quickly got over this frustration and was actually kind of jealous of her close bond to her family. I mean, I have a close bond with mine, but I don’t tell my sisters EVERYTHING!

So that concludes the saga of Who; and so the remaining people who do know have either figured it out themselves or been told by others; to the extent that even I am largely confused about who is confused about my confusion. Confusing isn’t it?!
- Ttyl Jack xx


jaygeemmm said...

Nice post. Very inspirational. It proves that true friends don't care, and shows the relief that comes with just not worrying about it any more.

I'm not so sure you're confused. You call yourself bi, why is that confusing? There nothing wrong with being attracted sexually and emotionally to both genders, any more than it's wrong to be attracted solely to men or women. It drives me crazy when people say "well, you just say you're bi to cover up being gay". Maybe some do, but that isn't always the case, and who knows, over time you may find a gf that excites you like Joe does now.

Knowing is acceptance. The one thing about all those people knowing is that at some point, it's probably going to make it back to your sisters and/or parents. There's a saying: Six degrees of separation" meaning that in many, many cases, there's only 6 steps separating someone from someone else that might at the time be a complete stranger. You might want to consider a strategy to at least clue in the sisters (assuming they are close to your age and mature enough to deal with it) before they hear it on the street and accuse you in "open court" like at the dinner table!

Keep up the good writing (the last 2 sentences are classic!). It will help a lot of people looking to come out, and how to deal with it!

Peace <3

Jack said...

but i call myself confused as i am not sure if i am bi or gay. I find it confusing as although i am lucky in the aspect that my friends will accept me no-matter what, but it is the labelling and deciding what to tell people, i'm not sure on.
And thanks, those sentances pretty much simplified what was going through my head at that time and most days
Jack xx

Lauren said...

Hi Jack,
Reading this you seem to have come out to quite a lot of people. I think that it's very brave to do it so many times :) it also seems like you have a lot of really good friends who you can trust with a lot of things which makes me quite jealous :D

Lauren x

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