Hey, feel free to pop over to where I have a lot more content. Photographs, drawings, poems. Hope you enjoy xx

Friday, 28 January 2011

Bitch Cyborg

Sorry for my complete melt down last night, I’m a bit calmer now. Although there is no guarantee it won’t happen again soon.

So what got you so rallied up Jack?

Well, mysterious voice, I found out that the 4 months worth of work I have been doing for media, might be a jeopardy, We need to get permission for the song we are creating a music video for, so that we can change it and post it on places like YouTube and Blogger.


And I found out yesterday ... 14 hours before our coursework deadline ... that the third member of our group (who dropped out of college) who had been the one to get permission, as lost it. Well it wasn’t lost; he knew exactly where it was...

In his Email TRASH!

Apparently Yahoo deletes emails if they have not been saved, after a while. And his got deleted, so basically at 1am I was desperately trying to gain permission for the song, or else I am ... how would you put it? SCREWED!

... and not the good kind ;P

But it’s all over now, I got permission ... although cant publish it on YouTube, so no video for you guys ... but the coursework deadline has come and gone and we got most of it handed in. WE got an extension because we’ve been fucked around so much, but I can tell she’s going to be a complete bitch cyborg to me. Oh well.

So that’s that. I have to go and get ready, going to youth club tonight and I’ve got Jakes birthday meal/party tomorrow. So a few days to relax and regain some fractions of my shattered social life.

Jack xx

Thursday, 27 January 2011





Wednesday, 26 January 2011

Deadlines and Essays?!

Hey everyone, no I’m not dead. No I’m not a zombie come back from the dead. No I’m not a brain eating creature that had risen from the grave to munch on my flesh eating brethren. Ok, enough with the death! I’ve just voluntarily put myself into a metaphorical hermitage where I have been focusing on my media coursework.

We I have finished a lot of the work we have to complete, but we I still have loads more to do! I mean, we still have some filming to do tomorrow ... and the deadline’s Friday!

I still have to LOADS more work, and my partner is getting on my nerves a little. Granted, he is doing more work than before (and we had a little chat about how he is being distracted by his gf and its affecting OUR work), but he’s just not good at the video commentary. I know how that sounds, but when you have to literally tell him what to talk about .. when your just talking about what you filmed, and he gets it wrong ... it gets frustrating. Trust me!

So I’ve been working ridiculously hard the last week or so to try and get it done in time, but its a lot of work, and I may have to try to get an extension. It shouldn’t bee too much trouble, as she knows how many problems we’ve had.

So what else have I been doing? I filmed on sat for my media. We created a facebook event and rented out a big hall to film crowd shots. We invited about 40 people and ONE turned up. 15 minutes before we were supposed to be out of there. But oh well, we finished and got the shots we wanted, so wasn’t a complete failure.

I also had two exams. I had one in Sociology, where we had to study crime in society and the reasons why it exists. Its quite an interesting topic, where we applied theory to modern-day events, like the Reccession and some older events like The Clapham Junction Crash; as well as some more general ones like Rape ...

... Did you know after 5 hours of searching for a female rapist in Britain, I only came up with one name?! Claire Marsh. And she didn’t even rape the victim, she stood on the sidelines and helped to strip her and harass her, but she is classified as a rapist and got more time than the other people who actually raped the victim. Interesting how things like that work. Sorry if I sound unemotional, I’m just rushing to get this post finished lol. And so my exam went quite well, we get three questions and we have to do two of the essays. And guess what?! Two of the questions are on my favourite and best sections, so fingers crossed!

My other exam was maths. I had the weekend to revise, and I did a lot, but not enough. I’m always like that though. But the exam went quite well. The questions were simple, and I had already done a couple of them in practice papers, so I knew how to do it. Although I did have to leave one question as it didn’t factorise :/

 I’m sure some other stuff has happened, but I’m drawing a blank, so until then ...

Ttyl, Jack xx
P.S. I love you baby! Hope you come back to Bloggerland soon :( xxxxxxxxxxxxx

P.P..S. My friend took this photo and I LOVE it, just though I'd share it :)

Friday, 21 January 2011

I am a Rockstar!

Yes, its true. It is official.

No, Not this one!!!

 (sorry, its the only vid i could find)

I have been mistaken for one, have the mentality/fashion of one and now ... I have a music video!

So I’ll start off with my mentality.

As I am writing this, I am procrastinating from doing revision for my exam tomorrow afternoon, in Sociology (i'll let yall know how i do). I mean, who really cares if Crime is socially constructed through Political and Economic marginalisation, or that NRR’s believe in Broken Windows, or that Marxists believe in Commodity Fetishism (yes, I though yall’d like that one lol).

As for the fashion, I can be really vain sometimes. I love clothes and I like to look nice. Not to say I don’t have my bad hair days or days where I just throw on anything. But a combination of OCD, good fashion sense, logistics and careful shopping result in one thing. MATCHING CLOTHES. I don’t mean the kind, where several items match perfectly! ... although I do actually have that through coincidence ... but where my socks, underwear, shoes and top (and jumper, hat scarf ect) have to be matching in colour!

Sad... I know.

But anyway, so the other night (Tuesday, I think), I had a little family ‘outing’. Me, my dad and my two sisters went up to London to watch ‘The Boxer Rebellion’. My dad has been following them (literally) since 2003; which means I have been brought up on their music. And its really strange being offered a pint and being able to accept it now lol ... even if I did trip up the stairs and spill half of it on me :/

But it’s great. Because my dad’s known them for so long, they’re really good mates. Like, he’s driven their tour bus, gets shout-outs, backstage passes, free CD’s and Posters (signed of course) like 3 months before its released! They’re really great musicians who used to be signed, and the label went broke, (and now they’ve made cameo’s on films) and its great! I know celebrities!

They play all over the world which is great. My dad went to Brussels to watch them live, and they are playing at this massive concert in Texas. I SOO WANT TO GO, just so I can see my baby lol, but its too expensive and is probably really far away anyway :/

So anyway, their manager was talking to me in the bar (I love being 18 lol) and he was like “do you have a band, you look like your a rock star” , and I was like OMG!!! I WISH! He gave off that vibe that he liked my look and would have been interested if I had any talent in music lol. Kinda gutted I didn’t learn as a child (well, continue).

So, onto my last part. I AM A ROCKSTAR! Me and my partner finished our Draft of our Music Video, last week (I was LITTERALLY the LAST person out of college. The caretaker told me off for being there so late lol and was waiting for me to leave so he could set the alarm). But then my partner was ill and I didn’t know, so I couldn’t upload it to YouTube yet. But here it is: enjoy.

(Btw, we changed actors so there are some discrepancies, and some missing shots, but feedback would be great x)

(lol, i had to re-create this video for media ... just thought you'd like to know)

Jack xx
P.S. Had a nice chat with my Mum earlier, about how she is putting too much emphasis on her and her bf’s distance. He lives in Manchester, and she keeps complaining it might not work. LOL. I would have told her then how far Peter lives, but I want to tell my dad and my mum together.

P.S.S. Dad’s in a mood because someone broke the splash-back on our cooker. Complete crack in it! But it actually wasn’t me lol.

P.S.S.S. I LOVE YOU BABY! I know we haven’t had a chance to talk much lately, but I really do love you. You are my world atm, and make me smile. You are my breathe, so don’t fail me now :) xx

P.S.S.S.S. Jake is staying over tonight, so that'll be fun :)

P.S.S.S.S.S. Hello to my 3 new followers :)

P.S.S.S.S.S.S. Sorry for all the added P.S.'s

Sunday, 16 January 2011


Yes. Today’s very cheery topic is death. This is for two reasons, and therefore I will divide my post up into two parts.
So to start, let’s begin with something a bit more traditional.

 My best friend Jake’s Great Nan died yesterday. I feel terrible for him, but at the same time, I do feel kind of relieved. WE were due to go to our youth-group on Friday but he texted to say that he couldn’t go because he had a family emergency; which meant I was abandoned for the night, but I didn’t mind, I was just really worried for him.

Interestingly the first thought I had was “OMG! Someone’s died”. Not quite. I went over to his house after youth-group as you cant leave beyond a certain time, and so when I got over there I kind of chickened out, thinking I was being really rude. But in the end I decided I HAD to see if he was ok.

So I knocked on the door and asked if he was ok, and he told me that his Great Nan was in the hospital after a heart attack. I was immediately glad I came over. We ended up talking from 11pm – 1.30am in his house. And I found out that she had been seriously ill and they said she only had 6 months left ... 16 months ago. And so about 20 mins after I went over, his mom came home and said they thought she only had 2 days left at a maximum, so I told him I was there for him, and any of his family. I don’t know them that well, but death is kind of my forte, so I still want to be there for them; and they really are such lovely people.

And btw, I was “kind of relieved” as they had been given this warning 16 months ago and later on that night. So we sat and talked about most things and everything, and I suggested if he went to a different youth-group (one he helps run for younger children) then his younger brother could talk to the leader about death and Heaven; which should help to calm him down and make him feel better.

So then, the next day I found out that she had died peacefully and I immediately asked if he was ok. He was. He wasn’t overly close to her so it didn’t hurt as much as it could have, but I’m sure it did sting a lot. It always does. So I’m just reminding him I’m here for him and everything, and invited him over tomorrow for dinner, so we can hang out and everything. I really do hope he is ok :/

... For anyone who has ever lost someone close to them ...

So when I got home, I had another down turn, which is why I haven’t posted as much over the last few days. It was one of my worse ones I think, and I feel really bad to make Peter go through it. Sometimes I just want to reach out for anything near me and end it, other times I want to prolong the suffering for various reasons, and other times I just can’t get it out of my head. I usually bury these thoughts as deep as possible, though helping others, or distracting myself in varying ways (like working at college for 10 straight hours or more).

But its still there. Its still there eating away at me from the inside out, and there is nothing I can do.

Being the sweet and innocent person Peter is, he asks that if I do need to cut myself, I do it in front of him. This is not some strange fetish or anything, its to make sure that I don’t die in the process, and he thinks that it will reduce how much I do. Which was true for the first time. But it doesn’t work on me anymore. I am back where I was at the start, trying not to self harm in the first place. And I have gotten quite good at it over the years, where I ca go longer periods of time without doing it and it works, but the thoughts are still there.

Literally every day, I have the same thoughts circulating around and around in my head, like a Ferris-wheel or a carrousel. I know what my triggers are and try to avoid them as best I can, but everything sets me off; and it also goes off on its own accord.

Here is an extract from the conversation me and Peter were having:
why are you with me?
because i love you
reemmber all the other reason i wrote down lol
no, i mean actually why
when we first met, why did you agree to take on such a damaged piece of shit?
cause i am just the same
even more so baby
no your not
oh the hell im not
do you think about mutilating your body all day long?
do you walk down the stairs and look at the bannister you were going to hang yourself from?
do you fear each time you have to use the carving knife, incase you 'slip'?
do you run through suicide letters in your free time, when your feeling down, just to see
what you would write and who would actually give a damn if you died?

Every word of that is true, and I hate it. But I can’t help it. Idk, I just wish I could get a minutes rest.

So overall,  Death is a very big topic on people’s minds right now, and it sucks.

Tuesday, 11 January 2011

Agony Uncle

Hey, so I was going to a boring and self indulgent post about how I had to stand on a bridge not moving in the freezing cold for an hour and such fun, or how a certain blogger has really upset me; but I was inspired by Peter’s post (you can find it here).
I just feel terrible that he had to go through something like that and I have no real understanding. No amount of research or empathy can make me understand how it felt. Its just ... would YOU want the one you love being hurt?!
Ok, so over the years I have often been the one to go too for advice and help on almost any topics. Even from a young age I’ve had kids ask me about relationships, education, you name it, I’ve tried my best to advise on it.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a professional actual adviser or anything, nor is my advice guaranteed to work; but it has given me some practice and I really do try my best. Some people would not care or force their opinion on someone, but I don’t have an opinion. Or rather, I keep it to myself, or make it clear it is MY opinion.
To keep a level head and think logically is usually the best way to go.
Like, the other day, my ex girlfriend came over to see me (which was kinda out of the blue, but oh well) and she dropped a bomb shell. She has been dating her bf for over a year now (no offence, but he was her rebound ... they got together only a few days after we split) and have been pretty inseparable since. They are kind of the power couple I know, but not many people like them, which is a shame because they are both lovely. Anyway, she came to me to get my advice because she was also in love with his best friend and he loves her. They had done stuff, including a threesome, and in pairs, and she was torn.

  • Should she break up with her bf and only hurt him.
  • Should she discontinue this affair and hurt the other guy.
  • Should she dump both and hurt both.
  • Or should she continue with both, and hurt both.
So we ended up circling around college talking it through, and I tried to give her arguments for and against each side, so that she could make her own decision. I did feel guilty not being able to tell her bf, but when I help give someone advice, I keep it confidential unless it is a life or death situation. People should have the right to ask for advice and not have it displayed around college.

And so, I beg you. Anyone out there. If you have something eating you up inside, confide in someone. It doesn’t have to be me, or a professional, just someone you can trust and (hopefully) is unbias. Even just having someone to listen to you can make a world of improvement. You are not alone and there are thousands of other people out there who have, or are going, through the same things.
Why learn from YOUR mistakes, when you can learn from OTHER’S.
But if you do ever want to talk, chat, complain, get advice, or anything in between, just contact me at ... every one has the right to be heard. x

~ Jack xx

P.S. I'm always here for you baby, no matter what you say or do x

...My Heart Beats For Only You...

Sunday, 9 January 2011

So Close ...

This is OUR SONG baby x I love you, no matter what! Always remember that xx

~Jack xx

Friday, 7 January 2011

Great Day ... I think

So Today's post will be about:

The positively astounding repercussions of the abnormally catastrophic gravitational relativity to M185,[  (Cl63 SO₄ 34) / (Na+K)100   when thus forth lubricated; and the near-fatal effects proceeding.

Or ...
Slipping in Mud, to you and me.

So today yesterday I was feeling much better. I mean, I still felt sick to my stomach, but this is more of an ill sick, not a being-sick sick. Try to keep up! So I went into college as I couldn’t afford to NOT go into college! So the day was surprisingly uneventful lol.

I woke up at 6.45 as I usually do, and fell asleep until 7.10. As I usually do. Which then resulted in a rush to be cleaned, dressed, fed, packed and out of the door by 7.20 ready to meet my friend at her hosue for 7.30. Over the months, I have discovered that I am always 10 mins late ... regardless of what time I get up, or get dressed, or leave. I am always 10 mins late ... ON THE DOT.

So I was out of the house, 10 mins later than usual and was just about to text her, when I got to the end of my road and remembered that I have a late start. Meaning that I don’t have to come into college for my first lesson. I COULD HAVE HAD AN EXTRA HOUR AND A HALF IN BED!

But I decided to go in early to do some media editing, rather than sulk back home and slob out on the computer. I get on the bus (instead of walking) and remember we only have 7 mins worth of footage to edit. Hardly enough to fill a 2 and a half hour break I have! (including breaktime). But I go in anyway. Turns out my good friend and neighbour is on that bus, so I walk to her work with her to keep her company.

So once in college, I go to media and edit for my entire break as we have more footage on the machine ... I forgot about. I work my way through and almost have it finished today (I should be able to post the draft here in a few weeks, if I decide to). And this is how I spend ANY free time I have that day. I skipped break,* and I was going to skip lunch, but my stomach told me otherwise. I shouldn’t have listened ....
You can't see it very well, but my arse is
COVERED in mud!

So on the way back from the local shops, me and my friend were having a poke war, as you do, (he is such a flirt, but straight lol) and I ran to catch him, and, well ... I fell over. Quite bad. I had to sneak off to the loo’s to wash off the worst of the mud from my arse, and tied my jacket around my waist for the rest of the day lol. I was SO embarrassed.

~ And that children, is why you don’t run when there is mud ~

So all in all I had a good day, with a few hiccups, but oh well. Its just more exciting that way.
Take care, Jack xx

*and stayed later than the teachers editing and had to make sure the doors were all locked up ... they should just give me a key lol

Tuesday, 4 January 2011

You Are Loved ...

So I myself am currently in the closet ... well, I have cracked the door open a bit, but am yet to leap out and yell SURPRISE!!! And I know that this is a problem with so many people, world-wide, and I had to give my reassurance to them.
All is not lost! Stay strong!


There are thousands upon thousands of people out there who each feel as you do. The isolation. The secrets. The two-faced attitude you must adopt to survive. We have all been there, only some are lucky enough to find an escape.

Well, you can too.

It is just a matter of having or finding a group of friends who are open minded and accepting of who people ARE, deep down. If you don’t have these people now, then I would say try to find new friends, integrate yourself into their friendship group. This doesn’t mean forgetting your old friends, simply broadening your horizons, that way, if they are not as accepting as you thought, then you still have a group of people who will support you no matter what.

As for families, that is something, only YOU can decide about. Are there any family members who have gone through this? Are there any who love you no matter who you love? Are there any who will disown you? Take some thought into who won’t care and who can keep the secret. Then you have selected who, you are just left with where, when and IF you actually want to.

So, until then, you have us. Bloggers. Many of us have gone or are going through the same things and can offer advice, support and help to any one of you out there. We are here to be your friends, to gossip about hot guys, or to help with homework. To act as mentors and supervisors, or as competition. WE can be anything you want us to be: Just know one thing.

You are not alone and you are Loved!
Here is a Poem I wrote about how I felt when I was alone and felt like no one really knew ME. I hope it helps.

Know my Name
All alone in this world of ours,
Cast adrift by everyone,
I’m all alone in this great blue sea,
Its just me and the setting sun.

Surrounded by people,
But no one to listen,
Empty shells,
without emotion.
Don’t care what they say,
Just wana move on,
To another day.

So much to see, so much to say,
But left alone, for another day.
No one knows me, no one cares,
People pass me by, but no one dares,
Know my name.

People talk, n people laugh,
People smile, but its all an act.
Everyone’s different,
But they’re all the same,
No one dares know my name.

So misunderstood,
Just another number,
Another label,
For you to ponder.
But its not that simple,
We’re not the same.
No one understands me,
Or dares know my name.

I’m just another face,
That’s in the crowd,
A silent person,
That’s not aloud,
To say what I think,
Or do what to do,
Because you don’t know me,
And I don’t know you.

All alone in this great blue sea,
Its just me.

(Dedicated to my Baby, I love you! xx)
~ Jack xx


Ok, so I haven't been feeling too great this past week or so, but it has gotten worse. Up until now, I have just had a headache, temperature, cough, sore-throat ect, but today I have been violently ill.

The upside? I seriously doubt it is the flu.

The downside? I've been sick all day.


I decided to wake up about 7.30 so that I could watch the partial eclipse but due to heavy could cover I couldn't see it, but oh well. I actually woke up about 7 am, which I'm not complaining, as it is helping me to get used to early mornings again. For tomorow. I think.

So I woke up and i had a little stomachache, but didn't think anything of it, until i went to get up and felt like i was going to throw-up at any moment. In the end I just lay down in bed for half an hour.

Until I ran to the toilet, and ... well ... I'm sure you all can guess what happened.

I hate it when that happens though, because not only does it burn like hell, but it REALLY hurts too, and I can't eat or drink anything all day or else I'll be sick again. Why can't we just invent a cure for being sick?!

When I recovered sufficiently, I went downstairs to feed my cat ... not a nice smell ... and went upstairs to check msn. I had a feeling Peter would be online ... AND I WAS RIGHT!!! Of course I was a little dissapointed because he is also ill and should've been in bed, but I couldn't mask my joy of seeing my amazing bf! I love him so much!

After talking to him for a bit, and ironically going through the exact same thing that caused him to panic a few weeks ago (kinda feel the same as you did baby xx) I went downstairs to guess what? A sick cat. While I was upstairs with my head in the toilet, she had been sick three times as well ... I HAVE A SICK BUDDY! We actually spent most of the day together, which was kind of strange, but sweet. Unfortunately, the inevitable happened, and when i was cleaning up her sick, I was sick. But I managed to make it to the toilet!

So after, I tried watching TV but I was exhaused and ended up falling asleep after one programme. This was when i realised lying down doesnt make me feel sick, so I litterally spent the whole day just lying in my bed. I couldn't sleep because I still felt ill, but I drifted in and out of daydreams, which was nice.

I eventually got a phonecall from my dad asking what I was going to do about dinner, but I jsut said that I didn't feel up to it, and agree'd to cook the chicken for their dinner. We are having a roast tonight, which I shall miss but not too much lol. I was quite surprised I didn't throw-up again, because i had to rub the skin with oil and seasoning, shove stuffing into the cavaty, fold the legs into position to cook properly ect. But no! I did not!

So here I am, sat on my sofa downstairs, feeling violently ill again, so I think I'm going to go to the 'toilet' now.
~ Ttyl, Jack xx

p.s. Sorry if I went into too much detail there :/

Sunday, 2 January 2011


Hey everyone!
How was your day? Oh really?! WOW! Myself? Well, I had quite a good procrastinating day. Thank you.
What did I do?

So both me and Ariel woke up late but as it was my granddad, we didn’t rush. Not that we don’t care or anything, just that he doesn’t mind when we arrive. So we left and we I did the shopping, which was fun and then we ate our ‘breakfast’ on the way. When there it was quite average, he was in a chatty mood, so we left the talking to him for a change, and instead we tidied up.
And boy did we tidy!
We usually do the dishes and occasionally Hoover, whenever it needs it, but I even hovered with this special power that makes the room smell nice, I cleaned his TV (and I mean proper clean), I polished his tables, took down his decorations, cleaned his door where his Christmas Cards were hanging, cleaned his kitchen and of course ... did the dishes.
So we said adieu and left, had a quick pitstop on the way home, and ... went ice skating! We went with our mum and her new bf. I don’t really have an opinion on him atm. I mean, I know he is nice and treats her well, ect, but he just doesn’t do it for me :/ But it’s not like we hang out or anything and if mum is happy, then I don’t mind.

I went to see my granddad in the morning, which was nice. Except I had to call him up for his shopping list before we went to Sainsbury’s, which meant I ended up with unanswered questions of “what’s that granddad”, and later on, the inevitable complaint from Ariel, lol. But what the hey!

So I we mum Perry paid for the ice skating tickets (he had his own skates!) and we got going. It was great fun, I haven’t been in about 10 years and have actually missed it, but it hurts your feet like hell! After about 20 mins the novelty wore off and you’re just left there skating around in circles, but oh well it was fun. I spent most of the time with Ariel, when the lovebirds were skating walking crawling along the ice (mum had 0 balance), and so eventually he raced off to do several laps quickly and almost showing off lol as we skated walked crawled with mum. She dragged her and Ariel down twice, but I managed to stay up the whole time!

Two people got quite badly injured there tho, which was a shame. One person broke their wrist I think. I don’t know for sure, but I’m an expert and injuries (suffered so many) and mum is a nurse, so I know more than the average person I think. You could just tell it was broken from the swelling, the position, colour ect. And OMG! His daughter! We were right next to the exit, so when they got everyone up, I saw her, and she was balling her eyes out! I just wanted to hug her! But that may have scared her a bit loll Well a lot!

Then like an hour later, some woman was just lying on the ice. I’m pretty certain she fell and hit her head because she wasn’t moved away, and they kept her still for about 30 mins. They checked her pulse and everything, and then had to corner off the ice, which must have been SO embarrassing! Especially because when someone is hurt, they make everyone move to the sides, so that they can make sure no one is in the way! AWKWARD!

But yes, so they cornered her off and gave her some heating blankets to keep her warm, and just before we left, we saw her get taken away on a stretcher, so I’m certain they think she has a concussion. But the amount of health and safety checks they have to do, it could have just been a bump.
So it was a great day of procrastination, where I got NO homework done lol, but oh well. I’m kind of suffering now, as I feel ill again, completely drained and my feet are killing me! But totally worth it! Even just to look at the hotties. And OMG were there! None as hot or cute as my baby Peter, but still ...
I'd love to do this with my Baby.

Anyway, hope you are all well, Jack xx

Saturday, 1 January 2011


Ok, so my second post of the new year! Well I've ben up all night waiting for Peter. I wanted to celebrate the New Year with him and beyond, so I decided to wait up, which I am slightly regretting now as I am dying! haha, but I dont actually regrette it! Not one bit!

I am feeling kind of sick right now. Not through drinking, but illness. I have a blocked nose, headache, temperature, cough, sore throat/tonsils, and my foot hurts (unrelated lol). I can't believe I'm sick AGAIN! Peter was/is ill, so I think he has infected me ¬ ¬

Who knew you could pass illness through the internet! Maybe it works through the USB ports?!

So onto the topic of this post. Our Honeymoon.

NO! Me and Peter did not get married! (although he did propose a few times lol). But it is reffering to the 'Honeymoon' period in a relationship; this is where the couple are inseperable and completely in L.O.V.E. with each other. Don't get me wrong, I love Peter to pieces and would never want to hurt him, but I have been wondering if we have moved beyond our honeymoon.

I mean, we are less OTT and innocent and innecperienced, but at the same time, we have grown. I feel more at peace with him and like we are a couple. I hate saying "boyfriend" because it sounds so Jouvinile, and now I feel like he is more than that; he is my friend, my lover, my partner, myself in some ways. I love him.

But am I ready to leave behind that raw passion that every new relationship has?

Am I ready to take on a new chapter?

I Love You Baby xx
~ Jack xx