Deviancy!

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Tuesday, 4 January 2011

You Are Loved ...

So I myself am currently in the closet ... well, I have cracked the door open a bit, but am yet to leap out and yell SURPRISE!!! And I know that this is a problem with so many people, world-wide, and I had to give my reassurance to them.
All is not lost! Stay strong!

 

There are thousands upon thousands of people out there who each feel as you do. The isolation. The secrets. The two-faced attitude you must adopt to survive. We have all been there, only some are lucky enough to find an escape.

Well, you can too.

It is just a matter of having or finding a group of friends who are open minded and accepting of who people ARE, deep down. If you don’t have these people now, then I would say try to find new friends, integrate yourself into their friendship group. This doesn’t mean forgetting your old friends, simply broadening your horizons, that way, if they are not as accepting as you thought, then you still have a group of people who will support you no matter what.

As for families, that is something, only YOU can decide about. Are there any family members who have gone through this? Are there any who love you no matter who you love? Are there any who will disown you? Take some thought into who won’t care and who can keep the secret. Then you have selected who, you are just left with where, when and IF you actually want to.

So, until then, you have us. Bloggers. Many of us have gone or are going through the same things and can offer advice, support and help to any one of you out there. We are here to be your friends, to gossip about hot guys, or to help with homework. To act as mentors and supervisors, or as competition. WE can be anything you want us to be: Just know one thing.

You are not alone and you are Loved!
...
Here is a Poem I wrote about how I felt when I was alone and felt like no one really knew ME. I hope it helps.


Know my Name
 
All alone in this world of ours,
Cast adrift by everyone,
I’m all alone in this great blue sea,
Its just me and the setting sun.

Surrounded by people,
But no one to listen,
Empty shells,
without emotion.
Don’t care what they say,
Just wana move on,
To another day.

So much to see, so much to say,
But left alone, for another day.
No one knows me, no one cares,
People pass me by, but no one dares,
Know my name.

People talk, n people laugh,
People smile, but its all an act.
Everyone’s different,
But they’re all the same,
No one dares know my name.

So misunderstood,
Just another number,
Another label,
For you to ponder.
But its not that simple,
We’re not the same.
No one understands me,
Or dares know my name.

I’m just another face,
That’s in the crowd,
A silent person,
That’s not aloud,
To say what I think,
Or do what to do,
Because you don’t know me,
And I don’t know you.

All alone in this great blue sea,
Its just me.
...



(Dedicated to my Baby, I love you! xx)
~ Jack xx

6 comments:

Lauren said...

I always seem to be the first to comment on your posts like a creepy stalker person (or am I just being paranoid?!) but don't worry, when I'm back at school you'll hardly ever hear from me*

This was a lovely post and it really sums up what I think every person of this community wants to say to the other. I know that I'm not the best person to go to when people are finding it hard because I can't relate to them at all (at least with this subject matter), but I can talk about boys for a rather long time :D

But yes, I think that everyone needs to know that there is always someone in this community willing and able to help them out if they need it, and this post has done just that.

You're too good at writing poems - French or English.

Lauren x

*this is a lie of course. You'll still hear from me, I'll just probably not be able to bag the 'first comment' position :D

wayner said...

Imagine being a gay teen decades ago when there was no such thing as 'coming out' and all the gay guys were pretending to be straight, so finding a gay type guy was difficult to say the least! Believe me I identify with your poem; I felt like I was living in an alien world; a ghost wandering around and no one sees the real me. I'm glad the Internet is around today so the gay young people can get some validation and support. And I made the best of it and I had some good times. In some ways I had perks that the str8 people didn't, like more personal freedom. bfn - Wayne :) (and Jack, ginger is soothing to the stomach and soup stays down better than solid food! Stay hydrated and rest.)

jaygeemmm said...

wayner is sooo right. 38 years ago when I figured myself out, you just didn't come out, you prayed your gaydar was right (which didn't have a name back then, it was just a feeling), and that your "conquest" didn't start shouting to the world "gay boy here!"

You are exactly correct about the coming out process - to friends, family, whomever - you have to go with gut feelings and intuition and trust those instincts. It's not easy or without peril. At least in your head and heart.

The Internet is a wonderful thing. Even connected virtually, there are very real people "behind the blogs". And you, me, and so many others have discovered how awesome it is to make friends here, where you can just be you with others like you.

Your poetry is incredible. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks, Jack, for being here for all of us! You, too, are loved!

Peace <3
Jay

Rowan said...

You're poetry is really good i think, Jack. As an aspiring lyricst, even your poems make me envious (or maybe its just the fact that ive never given the time to sit down and write a poem or lyrics) either way, this poem i can certainly identify with. The title is good too i think :)

Rowan <3

Jack xx said...

Haha, yes you do Lauren, and I shall sorely miss you when your not my first commenter :P And it isn’t necessarily about relating to the topic, but more being there for others who are suffering through this and knowing that you are there for them to ... oh, talk about boys with? If your so good at it lol. And thanks for the compliment, I like writing Poetry in my spare time and have much more, but I don’t know which one I’ll post next lol.

Oh definitely Wayne! It must have been a million times worse and I’m not taking that away from people lol, but I’m simply pointing out how people can still feel isolated today. I’m also glad that the internet is around today, because even if they can’t PHYSICALLY interact with other people who are suffering similar things, they are still aware that they exist and that they are not alone.
Also, I know the health effects of them haha, but unfortunately, that doest change the fact that I hate the taste/texture of them and they would probably make me sick, regardless haha.

Haha, thanks Jay :) friends can be found anywhere you look, and I have found SO many here on blogger, it is amazing. And thank you for the compliment about my poetry, it is usually quite rough around the edges and not perfect though. This is probably because I write them quickly and while in random situations. Like, with this one I think I wrote it in 10 mins, while waiting outside a classroom for my form tutor LOL.

And I have a confession for you Rowan haha. This is actually as song I wrote :P but I decided to claim it as a poem, as I didn’t want to have two songs in the same post, or be put to shame from the actual song haha. So I too, am a lyricist, although I dabble in a lot of things lol. But if you are an aspiring lyricist, it doesn’t ahve to be something where you force yourself to sit down and write, it all depends on your own writing style. For me, I find a word or phrase that inspires me to write, and then I make a note of it. I have a notebook full of random words or phrases with a blank page or two, so whenever I am free or bored, I can just delve into it and write a line or two. I wrote when it suits me. But thanks for the support and compliments :) identification was the aim :P

Jack xx

Micky said...

Well put, Jack! We all need that 'safety net' to ensure that there is at least one person who knows us well, knows we're gay and knows that we're about to tell Great Aunt Maude who may just kick off.

It's amazing how much better it makes the encounter and having told someone we're going to do it is a great spur to actually plucking up our courage to do the deed.

Bad luck Great Aunt Maude - with me and my friend you're out-numbered!

Happy New Year!

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