Deviancy!

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Saturday, 6 November 2010

"I don't like the Homosexuals"

I GOT MY LAPPY BACK!!! And the very nice man even threw in a free charger that fits with my lappy, so i shouldnt overcharge it anymore! AND he managed to save all of the memory on my little lappy, so i haven't lost any of my work :)

So onto what i did over the last few days ...
So i'm going to share with you something from my (and Peter's) diary, from the 5th:
"i was planning on getting up at 5am to talk to my bf which would give me about an hour and a half to talk to him (heaven) but my alarm decided that i shouldnt go downstairs and talk to him, and instead i would sleep. And sleep i did, until i had 15 mins until i had to leave. I was late leaving, but early to college. Interesting. But despite all of this, i felt SO bad for Peter. He stayed up an extra 2 hours to talk to me, and although the geture was really kind and meant a lot, i dont fancy my first ever bf dying on me; so if/when you read this know, that i know, if you could you would stay up forever to talk to me (as would i for you) but you cant keep doing this to your body! ... and yes, he knows i am a hypocrite ... i just love him so much! and i was actually crying because i coudnt talk to him for long."

On the 6th i had to rush home to see my mum, who was visiting. She actually stayed for quite a long time surprissingly which was nice, but ti meant i could barely talk to Peter and then i had to go out to this youth group i go to. The one benefit of this group is that i usually get in at about 12, which is dinnertime for Peter, so i can just stay up late and talk to him ... if he wants. So the youthgroup was quite uneventful ... except for one thing :/ I had a panic attack. I dont have them often, but i hate them. Long sotry short,, i was mugged a few years ago and they stole my phone, so since then i get really panicky if people take my things and wont give them back: esspecially my phone. So when Jake took my phone, i kinda lost it. I havent told my baby yet about this, because i didnt want him to worry because i am fine now x Unfortunately i couldn't talk to Peter for long when i got in, but i woke up at 5am on sat to that we could talk more and privatelly.

On the 7th, i got up very early to talk to Peter. I dont think he liked it much, but i didnt care. It was worth every second to get to talk to my baby x But we couldnt talk too long as my dad has been getting kind of annoyed at how long i spend on the computer and how late i stay up, so i had to go t bed before he got up. But in the end i just lay there thinking about my baby and how much i love him! And how far apart we are :(



Then in the morning on the 7th i went around my grandad's house. We do it every week as he doesnt do much and we love him, so i dont mind. Although one thing he said stuck with me and kind of hurt a bit. I know that he isn't exaclty Gay-Friendly i mean we dont talk to our uncle as he is a drug adict (long story) but my grandad doesnt because he is gay. I only realised i have another uncle recently! And he somehow we got onto the topic of our cousins and he showed me a picture of one i never knew existed and do you know what he said? You do? How? Oh right, its in the title ... well he said "I dont like the Homosexuals". He said it in quite a calm and matter of fact way - almost jokingly - but i know that its true; and no matter how much i love him, i cant come out to him because he would litterally dissown me :(

So that has been the last few days, sorry i didnt post much but i have my lappy back now (with memory!) so can go online much more! And regularly too!

Ttyl Jack xx

4 comments:

jaygeemmm said...

It's great the laptop is back, and all is well!

I can understand the panic attacks. They're no fun at all. Glad it was a short one, and things are all good now.

The older folks can be the toughest to come out to. "Back in their day" homosexuality was pretty much ignored and reviled, I think. So it was easy to not like them. But it's probably not necessary for him to know.

Glad things are back to normal!
Peace <3
Jay

Ethan said...

Well seeing how a left a million comments on one of your other posts, I feel I have left enough for a while and just say that I 2nd Jay's comment

Jack xx said...

Haha thanks to the both of you :)
Jack xx

JSL said...

Aw, i love the way you two guys are making such an effort with each other, its really sweet, thanks for another good post jack. Best wishes to you both. James

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