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Monday, 27 December 2010

Single Parents

Ok, so I thought that I would take an idea from Peter's blog where he would interview someone who was new to commenting on his blog. So here goes.
Hello there, I'm Jack whats your name?

Jazzie Casas

So how are you right now?

I am admittedly very upset right now over a heated conversation that just took place, and I don't know where else to release that steam.

Well let go! Tell me all, I’m always here to chat to :)

I’m sure I’ll step on some toes in the process. I usually do.

Well go ahead, I don’t care. It is your opinion / their misunderstanding, so go on. I’m here to listen and provide feedback lol.

Frankly, I don’t care this time.

Thats good :)

Dads need to stop leaving their kids, and I’m tired of men not being the ones to say it.

Well yes, I can see where some toes might be stepped on here. You’re coming across as being kind of sexist here. I’m sure you didn’t intend this, you focus too much on the single DAD and not the single PARENT. Don’t get me wrong, I completely agree with you, but the exact same things happen to mothers as to men.

I’m tired of the world tip-toeing around these guys’ feelings. I’m really tired of society acting like such behaviour is now “normal” or “expected”.

Well yes, unfortunately, as a woman carried the baby for 9 months, society expects her to be closer and more ... well, motherly. Society would be up in arms if a father were to leave, but would ignore it if a woman left.

I’m tired of the media making light of it.

Same. Unfortunately, the media industry are highly involved with society and therefore they report, and some people argue encourage, this behaviour to continue. What else is there? I can tell there is more you want to tell me.

I'm tired of the emails and comments from endless mothers who've been thrown under the bus.

Of course that could get frustrating and tiring! But I think the important thing here is that they feel comfortable enough with you to pour their hearts out to you and take that first step. Even just being able to rant can be helpful. But once again, try to focus more on the unbiased side. Men get left with children just as much as women do, and they too can suffer. But come on, I can tell there is still more, that is eating you up inside...

More than anything, I’m tired of dads not taking their responsibilities and duties seriously.

At last! we hit the jackpot! (sorry for the cliché) but once again, SEXIST opinion. (I’m sure it is unintentional, but you underestimate the influence of the media, that is making light of single male parents.)  I mean, my mum left us and she doesn’t pay child support towards any of us (doesn’t have to NOW but she should have) and she barely contacts us. Sometimes it is just showing how she wants her single life back, without her responsibilities. Sound familiar? I’m just trying to point out how this is not just applicable to men who leave their children, but simply to everyone. And whoever leaves the household should not leave their children or partners (friends now?) they should accept their responsibilities and work harder to maintain that connection. But thank you for your opinions and talking to me :) Oh yes! Are you a single parent?

Proud to be a Single Dad

WOW! “Proud”, not often you hear that lol. Well, nice to hear from you and hope to chat soon :) OH! And thank you for the link to Single Dad Financial Help.

~ Jack xx


wayner said...

I think when a couple decide to have children that a greater effort should be made to be considerate of each other and stay together. I hate to see parents split up when they have young children. Even worse are the court battles where the man is left with barely a pot to piss in and the lawyers get rich. Many gays who say they are 'straight' or 'bi' should remember that 'hell hath no fury as a woman scorned' in divorce court. Of course people split up for various reasons (and we shouldn't judge cos the truth is usually somewhere in between) but financial obligations for the children should be met. bfn - Wayne

Anonymous said...

This was an interesting post. I hate to admit that I probably conform to the stereotype of thinking that *all* dads leave and *all* mums stay.
Of course they don't and I know that it doesn't work like that. It's just a natural way of thinking about it I guess? That's a really bad way though, so I won't think it any more.
Thank you for writing about this because it's brought something to my attention which I haven't thought of before.

Lauren x

Jack xx said...

Couldn't agree more Wayne lol.

And nice to hear from you Lauren :) But i do have to make one minor correction to your comment lol.
"it's just a natural way of thinking".
It's not, this idea is just created from the Media. Not just Tv and Internet, but adverts, billboards, magazines ect. I dare you to take ten steps from your front door and not find ONE media form out there lol. Unfortunately they have created this stereotype that manypeople overlook. and this happens all the time.

Another example:
I'm not sexist but ...
I would never dress my baby boy in pink.

WHY NOT?! In olden times, pink was masculine and blue was feminine (good example is the virgin mary wore blue lol), and thsi has changed over time. There was even a study done where the same baby was dressed in different colours and then strangers judged the baby's sex ... interesting how you can unknowingly be sexist lol.

But glad to know i have changed someone's thinking and they (you) are more aware from now on, so thank you :)
Jack xx

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