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Saturday, 12 March 2011

That Ever-Evasive Knock.


As a child, I had two friends.

They were my best and only friends; I didn’t have a need for more.

Every day I would go over to their house and invite them over to my house to play, and we used my toys, and everything. I was the person to instigate everything!

And yet, every afternoon, they would go around the neighbourhood and invite out everyone, except me, to play.

Literally.

They would cross the road, and knock on the doors next to my house, and skip mine.

Do you know how hurtful that is; to be in front of the window and see your two best friends – only friends – do that to you? And this happened every day.

At first I would rush and get ready and put my shoes on and wait for them to knock, but they didn’t, like they promised. Then I would notice they invited others out to play, so I would rush and get ready, but by the time I gout outside my house they had left.

Eventually I just stopped getting ready.

And on the few occasions they did invite me out, or I did catch up to them, it would be to play games such as hide and seek, where I would be left in my hiding place for hours, and they'd have forgotten about me and gone home.

So I find it difficult to get close to some people, and when I do I try not to seem needy or clingy and I don’t do all the legwork.


 

I don’t want to be that little kid at home sitting on the stairs waiting for that ever-evasive knock.

2 comments:

Wayne said...

As kids we all learn the hard lesson eventually that other people can be ignorant selfish dicks. When that happened to me I just looked around for others who were not. I think people your age are more mature now hopefully, but I often wonder if this techno-age is a help or hindrance for socialising and meeting others off-line. Do young people go outdoors anymore in nice weather? bfn - Wayne (hugs)(a touch of Spring here today hurray!)

jaygeemmm said...

Jack,
I really don't know what to say. Friends come and go. I lost almost all of mine 4 years ago, and I still seldom see the ones that didn't just pretend I no longer existed. Best advice I can offer is to go out and find some new ones. That isn't being clingy or annoying, that's being proactive in your own happiness.
Peace <3
Jay

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