Deviancy!

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Monday, 21 February 2011

Hello

Sorry for all of the confusion fellow bloggers, I didn’t mean to worry any of you (if you in fact did worry haha) but I was going through some things. I was going to post this as a comment to Peter's Blog Post, but there was too much to put, so I thought I should put it in my own post: so other bloggers could see why I came back.

So I’ll start from the beginning... (and if your impatient, you can just skip to the end haha)

Peter had sex. Well not 4th base, but it wasn’t entirely innocent lol. So he met this guy and they got talking and he invited Peter over at 1am to watch a film. I will be honest, that I suspected something may happen, but I love Peter and I trust him and I knew that if something were to happen then it would just be sex. So I didn’t say anything.

So Peter rushed off to go and meet him, I was a little upset because he didn’t do the usual “love you” – or rather “lve you” – but I am sad like that so tried to ignore it. So we talked the next day and he told me what happened.

He didn’t cheat like Peter said, and many of you devout bloggers know, but a part of it felt like he did cheat to me. We agreed that having sex with others is fine, but no love-making: no emotions if possible. And I am ok with this, I love him and if I cant be physically with him then he can get this from others. So when I heard what they did together I didn’t mind.

Honestly.

What hurt me was that they hugged and kissed and cuddled. It didn’t strike me as sex, it was far closer to making-love. So I was a little hurt and upset, but we got over this and it got us talking. We moved on. I know this sounds harsh or mean on my side, but I don't mean it that way. It's just one of my silly hang-ups that I'm over now x


So I told peter how I was worried that I would come to resent him – as in ALL my relationships I stay until the bitter end ... literally ... but that I didn’t want this to happen but nor did I want to break up. I love him. To which his response was:
“Ok, lets do this. You’re no longer my bf”.

Which cut. It cut deep and I shortly retired from MSN to cry for several hours. But we later talked it through and turns out he didn’t meant to break up with me, he meant that he didn’t want to hurt me or for me to resent him: so we was caught between a rock and a hard place.

Should he end it here and save me possibly resenting him, to become friends?
Or should he stay with the one he loves?

He picked the latter. Fortunately. So we’ve talked it through and so yes, I will be returning as the reason I left blogger is because I couldn’t stand to be on the thing that brought us together. It’s not to say that Peter and I won’t have our own ups and downs, but until then we’re fine and happy. I have a lot more news but I think I’ll me mean and ration it all out. I’ve got big plans for the future ...

Jack xx


(I know how much you love Pocahontas baby xx)

9 comments:

Wayne said...

Just caught you posting! I commented on Peter's blog a little while ago and I'm glad you guys talked it out. But having sex with another person DOES involve cuddling, kissing etc (our bare skin is the biggest sex organ!) and it would be the same for you. I guess it is idealism coming up against reality. But do keep your blog Jack through your ups and downs in life cos it can be an asset for you; many of your readers know exactly how you feel. bfn - Wayne :)

Love<~Peter~> said...

Sorry guys I cant put the juicier details in my blog due to my mom reading it Love<~peter~>

p.s. was not trying to hide the fact i had sex (well we jerked off)

Micky said...

As I said to Peter (before you made this post) I think sex is great! And you guys should both be enjoying an active sex lives just as soon as the fancy takes you.

Having said that, if you and Pete want a relationship then it's for you two (and nobody else) to agree on the terms of that and what you count as special things just the two of you share and what you do not. Quite clearly the for the relationship to work over time (and you're not doing so badly, are you?!) then you need pretty sensible rules or one or the other of you will be for ever breaking them!

I'm glad you two are together and talking again - if only for the purely selfish reason that those of us who follow both yours and Peter's blogs otherwise risk losing one of you!

Jack xx said...

I know sex = kissing and cudling. Its just, idk, when we talk about having sex but not the emotions, a part of me expects/hopes that it is litterally just S.E.X. and not the intimate part, but in reality i know its different.

it was just something i had to get out of my system. Once it happens once or twice then i'll be oblivious to it, it happened before when we had sex with others.

But you all make good points, and we've still got the same rules as before :) xx

Rowan said...

Good zeus i got worried a bit there (thats an understatement)

Please dont scare us like tht again :P
I understand your reasoning tho, its chill.

Rowan <3

A Wandering Pom said...

Hi there, Jack (and Peter)

Many thanks for posting this: it's great to know that you two have sorted things out between you, and it's also helpful to know what happened. I guess the more used to each other's reactions you get, the less likely it is that something like this will happen again.

I'm reminded of some lines from Coldplay's song "The Scientist":
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard


You've chosen a difficult thing, to be together when you're so far apart physically; I think that physical distance amplifies all the bumps in the road that occur in any relationship.

*hugs*

Mark

tman said...

I'm glad you guys patched things up, Jack... luv, tman<3

jaygeemmm said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jaygeemmm said...

Nothing like commenting in a post-nap stupor...that's why I pulled the comment!

Good luck Wednesday. You should know my family is now on the list...and I may have a "way".

Peace <3
Jay

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