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Thursday, 3 February 2011

Confusion

So in Peter’s blog (here) he mentioned that I MAY be going away in June. And so I thought I would explain my reasons for and against, for everyone, for my baby and just for myself, so here it goes. And sorry if it sounds selfish or like I am bias, I don’t mean to be and I’m not.

Ok, so it will be about £200 to go with my friends on a 4 day holiday where we would  rent a big house for about 15 of us and we would just live together. We wouldn’t do much, basically play cards, computer games, sleep and drink. What every teenager does. And it would be the LAST time I can go and see everyone together for years, if ever again. I have only known then for a year, but they are some of my closest friends in a really long time.

I (we) was (were) also hoping that I would be able to go and see Peter for about July time (roughly) but this would cost about £1000 so save up, which would be difficult to save. I think I can make it, but not sure. It all depends on if my sister can be my taxi sat and sun so I can get there, and pay here for petrol ... I’ll explain at another time.

So my dilemma: do I go with my friends for the last time, or do I go with my boyfriend for what could be the last time. I mean, if I don’t go to see him, it is very likely I will lose the one I love. And I don’t want that, but I don’t want to save and save and save, just to find out it is too late to go with my friends and I cant afford to see Peter. I would just be sat at home alone for a month, alone, with no friend and no bf.

Now, I know yall will just be saying ‘go with Peter, he’s your bf’, but its not that simple.

I hate myself for saying this, but they are my friends and I don’t want to lose them. I’ve done that before where I made one gil my everything and I literally had to scramble to get SOME friends in the end, and most people never spoke to me after that. I don’t want to do that again :(

I am the MOST INDECISIVE person in the world and I hate it. I know I upset peter because I know in this situation, he would pick me without a second thought. I just don’t know what to pick.

I mean, if yall had the choice between seeing family (they are like my family, if not better ... except for Ariel) or the one you have undying love for, which could you choose? How can you measure love, especially when it is different kinds of love?

I want to go and see Peter, its just idk. I’m just not sure and I hate it :’(





Jack

P.S. Baby, your not alone, i love you forever!

5 comments:

Billy said...

Here we have Schoolies: a tradition where at the end of high school groups of friends do something similar: go to the beach, hire accomodation and party on for a week or so. It's a great way to celebrate with the friends you've been through school with for the last time before you go your own ways on to university, jobs etc. It's a chance that will never come around again, so do it.

It is a hard decision, but when you visit Peter you need more than the bare minimum amount of money. I know it will be wonderful just being with Peter, but if you've got some extra money the two of you will be able to have a great time doing exciting things together. Being stuck with no money is no fun, even with the one you love. So wait until you can save up properly.

Ethan said...

Actually NO I didn't think you should pick Peter
Now I know that there is a difference in US dollars and the pound but I DO know the difference between 200 and 1000 and that is quite a big number. The practical side of me says that you should wait until you have more money to actually see Peter.

Also I agree with Billy that having just plane money isn't going to do you any good. I don't doubt that Peter would be willing to buy you something if you wanted it but I know you wouldn't want to depend on him to buy you EVERYTHING.

In the end I wish you the best on what you do and if thing end with you and Peter, well nothing I can do expect be your friend still

-Ethan

Wayne said...

It will only set you back 200, but you will eventually get the bucks together to see Peter and maybe you can get your parents to top off the amount you need. You are not making a 'choice' and you have time to get things arranged. I'm sure Peter does not want you to sacrifice everything in the meantime. But I can hardly wait to read your blog when you finally get into Peter's arms! He needs somebody like you. bfn - Wayne:)

Jack xx said...

Hey everyone, I don’t think I was quite clear in my post :(

The plane tickets will be £500 and I allowed about £500 spending money and stuff.

If I don’t see Peter in the holidays, it is likely we will split up, but I may not be able to make it anyway.

My parents can’t afford to help me (even if they said they could, I wouldn’t let them) as dad has to support 4 people and my mum has to pay for her flat and everything.

So I hope that helped sort out any further confusion :( xx

A Wandering Pom said...

Hi there, Jack

I thought I should check, though I'm fairly sure I know the answer: if you could afford to do both things, to have the holiday with your friends and to visit Peter, you would, wouldn't you? That's certainly what I'd encourage you to do.

Assuming the only obstacle is money, have you done a budget, to work out how much you need when, how fast you can save, and so on? You seem to think you'd be fairly close to the total you want - could you get by with a bit less spending money in America?

Feel free to e-mail me about this, if you like.

Take care

Mark

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