So i spend another few days with Emo guy at the weekend, as some of you know. It was a really nice time! He was suposed to come down for a few days and then i would go up on saturday for London Pride, but he had to cancel because he had a college interview.
Which was also canceled ¬ ¬
But in the end i was quite glad because he called me up and asked me if i wanted to go up to see him on the Friday which made me happy because it meant i didnt have to hint for the invite haha.
And actually he then invitd me up for the Thurs, it was litterally he asked me the night before and then i woke up, got packed, wrote a note for my dad (because he was at his gf the night before and then went to work) and left.
I was actually going to get the train with my sister but she was running late lol. So was i ... by 20 mins lol.
So we hung out for a few days and did all that, then we went to pride, had a bit of a falling out due to some missunderstandings and me not being 'social' enough, but we made up and i ended up staying for another extra day haha. Could have stayed longer but i felt bad staying for so long haha
but anyway! This is a post about how complicated relationships and crushes are!
So yea, as per usual, i got really excited when i found out he was coming and then of course! he cancels on me, which totaly sucks! I hate how hung up on him i get sometimes and how i try a lot to make things work and everything, just to be blown off so easily!
I hate it!
And then of course one of the things that we fell out about was litterally over me saying
"I like him way more than he likes me ... fact ... but oh well, whatever"
Where this friend then went and told Emo, who then told me that he "couldnt do a relationship" which i already knew and stuff. Basically i know we wont date and all that, we're just having fun (and MAYBE after a few months when w eare really good friends then we MAY look into dating, but as i said ... whatever).
So i hated having to have the talk with him, mainly because he admitted that he could do an "open relationship" with me, but tbh ... no.
I've been there with Joe and Peter, and it didnt work out either way. I cant handle it because its just too complex. The way i see it, is there are two deffinitions of "open":
- you can do what you like with whoever, but one person is a 'regular'
- you are in a relationships, but you are allowed 'slip-ups'
I like to be in the latter catagory, but most are in the first. Emo is in ... one of them :/ He says he like to be in relationships, but with the perks of being single. And that he doesnt like to be constrained, but he is incredibly loyal.
See what i mean!?!
So basically, i'm happy with just being friends at the moment and nothing further, until when everything will change in a month. Then we'll see.
But i'm done with relationships, and love and dating and all of it! its just a massive wase of time and energy!
No more of this ...
3 comments:
Yes, relationships are complicated. But I suspect as you grow and mature, your ability to navigate them will increase, too. So don't rule out that one day you'll find the one person you want to spend the rest of your life with - I think that day will come now that you're out there and trying! Well cool!
Peace <3
Jay
The videos are not coming up for me for some reason, but Jack you guys are young and young guys like their personal freedom. Guys are not really ready to settle down until their mid-twenties so I think you are being unfair to expect an exclusive relationship. I think homosexual relationships are different than heterosexual relationships in this regard. Women have the biological imperative to demand fidelity because of their child-rearing instincts. Guys instinctively want to spread their genes around as much as possible. So maybe number 1 is best with the understanding that your partner is reasonable about it and confides in you. Of course there is always the possibility that you will find that guy who wants an exclusive relationship the same as you. Just my opinion, maybe I'm full of crap lol. bfn - Wayne :)
Hey, thanks guys. But Wayne, i DONT expect an exclusive relationship Granted, that would be preferable, but my point was that he thought that i expected an exclusive relationship.
But i wanted a slightly more exclusive one idealy. Simply because i dont like the thought of being a "regular" as it removes all sense of emotional/personal attachment (to me at least), but as i said, i know we wont date so w/e xx
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