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Wednesday, 20 July 2011


I hate that wherever i look, there are people that are better than me.


I mean, take Emo Guy ... he dances, plays piano, is incredibly popular, is thin, is muscular, is tall, is friendly, he is amasing at photography, he writes, the list is endless. He is pretty close to perfection because he does SO many things perfectly!

And yes, i know that with years of practice and all that, i could do some of these things too, but there are just some things you cant change. I cant grow taller than i am now, i cant get much thinner, i cant dance or learn an instrument very well (i have ZERO hand-eye cordination) and sometimes i just wish i was completely different.

I just wish that i could escape my life and go somewhere different. Be someone different.

As a child, if you asked me what my three wishes to a genie would be, i would have answered you the following:

  1. To find happiness in the world with friends, family and the one i love and who loves me back
  2. To have TONS of money so that i would share it with the world, and pay of people's debts
  3. To be the person i've always wanted to be.
Even from a young age, i've looked at magazines and wished that i could be them. Their lives seemed so simple and easy. They were beautiful, popular, probably full of tallents and no problems.

But when you compare that with reality, it never matches up.

And i used to always say "perfection is itself an imperfect concept, because everyone's opinion of perfection varies" ... but well, i just dont know what to believe about it anymore.

I find myself floating down a stream, into a dense forrest, not knowing if the stream will turn into a lake or a fast flowing waterfall. My mid is so clouded these days that a part of me has just given up caring,  and i float through this life being only half human.

No, i dont know what to believe in these days. But i do know that i'm not perfect, far closer to being imperfect.

Well,  the half of me that is alive, at least :/


WARPed said...

Hey, no need to be so hard on yourself, mate.

Of your three wishes, I'd say #1 and #3 should be attainable.

Don't try to be perfect, just the best you can be; set goals that are realistic; live your life without regrets.

You'll be fine. :-)

-"WARPed" Andy

naturgesetz said...

Well, nobody's perfect, and lots of celebrities are profoundlyunhappy. We don't know what's going on inside the minds of other people, and even the ones who seem happy or content could be carrying around feelings of inadequacy.

So the thing to do is to realize that wishing things were better and wishing you were better is part of being human. If you can think of one or two things about yourself that you can change and you want to change, and then figure out what you need to do to make the change happen, that can be useful. But I think it's more important to be able to recognize honestly what is good about you and your life.

StarSandwich said...

Awh, Dude. Chin Up.
Meh your perfect in your own special way. 'Emo Guy' Might be absolutely shit at sex or has awful toenails and could smell like rotten grape fruit in the morning or could have bad breath syndrome and like have breath mints all the time. Dude. Trust me. Every one had bad points. You want to be someone different? some one else? Make it happen then. Only you have the power to change yourself and become what you want. It will require effort but you'll get there.

-Star "/

Wayne said...

Ha ha; don't we all look at others and envy their good looks, talent, smarts etc. I remember the good looking straight teen guy who lived next to me (when I was a teen) and I envied how everything landed in his lap; beautiful girls, friends, job etc. He died 10yrs ago; he dropped dead from a massive heart attack at age 50, but I am still living and in good health and look pretty good for my age. No, don't envy other people cos it is an illusion; time has a way of turning the tables. I have seen cute young guys get fat and bald in their 30's, dumb guys become millionaires, smart guys go down the tubes, and cute teen idols who became drugged out and ugly as the years went by.
-You have talents others don't and maybe Emo guy likes you because you are not an over-bearing egotist. I would not want to be extremely cute or handsome; too much hassle from infatuated people. Simply seek to always improve yourself both mentally and physically; people who peak too early in life often become basket cases later on. Make decisions in life that lead to improvement, not take you down. Don't envy other people cos it is just a snapshot in time; it is the long haul that counts. bfn - Wayne :)

Jay M. said...

Hmm, seems we have many of the same traits here. I long to be skinny, strong, much better at the things I do than I am, and mostly, with someone I loved and who loved me back. I think that just proves that none of us are perfect, because everyone else I know whom I place far higher on the "better" scale think the same way I do. The grass is always greener. You've got a lot of fine qualities. Maximize them. Do your best in everything you attempt, and I think you'll be surprised at how much better your outlook is. And when you achieve #2, do you want my audit to be itemized or just the bottom line? :-p
Love ya, Jack, just the way you are.
Peace <3

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