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Wednesday, 20 July 2011

Closed Eyes

So the song from my last post actually inspired this one, because the song had a second part that was equally applicable:

Yes ... today's theme is masquerade!

I am reminded of a poem i heard on TV once, years ago:

I have a secret,
does she too?
The quiet girl,
I thought i knew,
Continually makes me smile

I can't halp but wonder,
does she see me
or just m mask
of invisibility.

I keep telling others that they never truely know who i am. I mean, i am so messed up inside that i have to hide it, or forever be cast away.

I said, in a post long gone about how i fake a smile so that no one can see the real me. The amount of smiles i do that are real are but a fraction of the overall smile count, which is shocking when you think about it. Its jsut easier for everyone.

I dont get the added attention, and they dont have to go through the hastle of pretending to care. Easier.

But it takes two to tango.

Other people also have masks. We're all just different conponents in this masquerade called life. How much of eachother do we truely see?

The clothes? No, they are costumes in today's society, a reflection of whats long gone and how we are expected to look.

our hair? No, that's jsut a further extension of the conformity that is our outfit.

Our Body Language? No, nowadays we each keep to our own and stand alone while those brave enough step forwards and perform some pre-ordaned and coreographed dance to blind the others.

Our faces? No, they are covered by these masks that are carefully designed to hide the most intimate part that is on display.

What does that leave us with? Our chins?!

No, we are all just different components that never truely see eachother, just these outer shells that the create for others to see. We provide others with exactly what we are willing to display and what they want to see.

     Not us.
     Not ourselves.
     Not me.


Wayne said...

Maybe this is a product of our modern world? Just think how different the world was just 100yrs ago. Of course I know how you feel; being a homosexual teen over 50yrs ago definitely required the 'straight' masquerade. Remember this was a time when I never heard a single positive thing about being homosexual and I thought my mind was 'messed up'. I knew the truth about human sexuality and there was nothing 'messed up' about that.
-'Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them' - Thoreau. I read your blog and I don't see where you are 'messed up' any more than most other young guys. Most guys have some kinky thoughts and actions but would never let anyone else know. We all do some false smiles to better cope in society, but just be the 'what you see is what you get' kind of guy and you can live with your conscience.
-Focus on the big picture; complete your education, get a decent paying job, and find a loving trustworthy reliable partner with a decent income. Avoid extremes and don't get too far out there. It's summertime; get out and have some fun. bfn - Wayne (hugs)

Ethan said...

I shouldn't be reading stuff this late that makes me think well and even worse I shouldn't comment but too late that for that.

I am truly am wearing a mask and I ask myself when can I ever take it off?

My head is now busy with these thoughts but I'm too tired to type them all up
So I'm going to bed
Take Care Jack
(P.S. glance at my blog in the next 24hrs b/c I know what my next post is going to be)

StarSandwich said...

Hiaa Jack, Well.
Every one at some time in there life has a really hard time, and put on fake smiles. Me, I don't like smiling unless I'm in a stupid, random, awkward mood. Then I smile like a footballer receiving his paycheck. But to be honest.

I'm sure not every wears a mask all the time. You have three faces really.
- Family.
- Friends.
- That special person.
Does that mean your as fake as them orange bimbos? No not really. It just means you act another person around people who you feel different about.

Though the whole masquerade thing. Love it. I Like the 18century It was the time I should have been born it, masquerade ball e.c.t. Maybe I'm just a dreamer who likes fairy tails and history books but I do like that time... Okay going off subject. But you get what I'm chatting.

Don't the clothes respect personal taste, Lady Gaga doesn't wear what society suspect does she?
And her hair! Its completely random at times but awesome.. Now me in general I don't hide what I am behind a mask I act the same with everyone I try to at least. So I don't want to wear a stupid mask and have people judge me anyways. I'd rather be me and be judge for being me:D

- Star.

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