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Sunday, 12 June 2011

Words in Flight

Hey Everyone, this wasnt the post i was planning to do (that wil be tomorow, so look forward to it! haha) but i just wanted to a short post about two things on my mind at the moment.

Firstly ... ARIEL IS HOME!!!

She flew in from spain this afternoon and didnt get home until a few hours ago! We spent ages just talking and catching up about everything and it sounded like SO much fun! Cant wait to go with her next year! We shared all of our gossip and bitched about a couple of people, shared our theories on life and love, and jsut did everything that siblings usually dont do ... meaning that we were nice, friendly and loving to one another lol.

Urgh! I missed her so much lol.

Sorry, this just reminds me of my sister lol xx

And now onto my second topic ... language.

I actually decipher each comment and message i get, i cant help it lol, and i keep picking up on the language used but i decide against correcting it, for one main reason...

I know none of you mean what i interpret!

So i'll use the comment that actualy made me decide to write this:

"C'mon Jack it was just one fucked up night; actually Emo guy seems to like you. I am not a fan of drinking, it seems to cause more trouble than it is worth. Everything went downhill when the drinking started. Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant and ruins sexual performance (and allows stupid 'suicidal' thoughts to get through); if you guys had been sober you would have done more than just sleep on his bed when you both got back.
-Be sure to get back to the Emo guy and talk to him. Maybe some time together in the great outdoors without booze will be different. You can be proud of yourself for taking a chance and going for it; you won't get love and sex sitting in your bedroom staring at the walls. If he doesn't work out, well there are plenty more opportunities waiting for you. Don't get down on yourself just talk to the guy cos maybe HE feels down over it too. bfn - Wayne (hugs) "

Now i will just repeat myself here, i know Wayne does not mean what i am about to pick up on. Its just the language used, and i am only using him as an example ... so sorry Wayne xx

Now, i'll take this piece by piece lol.

just one fucked up night: sorry, i tried to make this clear, it was not really the night that got me down, just an accumulation of things.

Emo guy seems to like you: he doesnt ... all will be explained soon.

Now onto the language lol

stupid 'suicidal' thoughts to get through: firstly there were not "stupid" but actually rather dangerous and very real to me (here)
and secondly, they did not just "get through", they are constantly there, just sometimes they effect me more than usual, or they are in greater numbers.

Don't get down on yourself: it is more than just being "down" it was depression at one of its lowest points.

I could go into a nice big and long rat, but i wont because well i'm tied and there is no point. I just wanted to make soe of you either more aware of the language you use and its potential effect on people, or to educate you if this is what you believe.

Sticks and Stones my break my bones, but words can always hurt me.


Wayne said...

Well Jack it WAS a messed up night going from one club to another and getting nowhere. And you said that you and emo guy hugged and kissed and you enjoyed long talks with each other. Maybe 'stupid' is not the right word the way you are thinking about it, but to me a healthy, good looking, and talented young guy like you should never be having thoughts like that. I would urge you to avoid alcohol when you are feeling down. There is no shame in getting professional therapy for this problem if it is fairly chronic, especially if you have 'suicidal' thoughts. I do apologise if what I said hurt you cos that was not my intention. I'm glad your sister arrived to cheer you up. Life does suck sometimes but I guess we need to expect it. bfn - Wayne (hugs)

Anonymous said...

Sometimes, and you can hate me for this, I think you read too much into what you read. I have to say that I didn't get Wayne's comment the same way you did. You've "over analysed"' my comments, too. I don't take offense, and I understand where you are coming from. You aren't wrong in your interpretations, but sometimes I think you need to re-read the comment, and think about what the commenter really meant. Your current post explains a lot of things, but the original post led Wayne to post his comment.

As far as the suicidal thoughts and low points, please remember that everyone doesn't remember every post, though we try to...diligently...

We love you, Jack, so please don't forget that.

Peace <3

Anonymous said...

Wayne means well (at least I think he does) but I do agree his comments do come across as something left to be desired sometimes.

And they have pissed me off at times too.
I don't think you read to much into it but then again I do see what I think he tried to say and what he actually said.

You are right. Language is something to be watched out for. Otherwise you can be pissed and/or upset


Micky said...

I used to have this problem reading Thomas Hardy and Hamlet (amongst other stuff) for English 'A' levels because what I thought the language said wasn't the 'received standard version'.

It turned into quite a big problem actually because when I told the examiner what I thought of Hardy and that what Hamlet had meant was really 'this . .. .' s/he failed me on the bloody exam.

So I went back to college on day release from my first job and made good that failure in one year (with different books).

OK - so I knuckled under for the sake of wanting to pass the exam but I still think what I thought then about Thomas Hardy and Hamlet.

By which I mean that I agree - language is really a means to confuse and sow misunderstanding - it's no universal means of communication. It's very easy to misunderstand and declare war but it's far harder for people to listen and really hear so as to find peaceful solutions.

Jack xx said...

Haha dont worry jay, i'm not going to hate you, and ironically my language kind of failed me here because i clearly didnt explain myself enough haha.

I was not saying that Wayne's comment actually offened me or that he meant to be mean or anything, i was simply using him as an example and i over-analysed it partly to show what i personally do to comments, but also to show how some people may interpret particular things.

so when you say "sometimes I think you need to re-read the comment, and think about what the commenter really meant", i do, do that and i tried to make this clear.

I know what you guys mean which is why i normally dont respond this way or comment on the language used, because i know you guys dont mean it.

So no, Wayne you did not hurt me, i was just being cautious of how some people might interpret it and either be offended themselves or think you were being mean (you being plural lol)

Also, i know there is no shame in seeking proffessional help but i have a phobia of it and dislike counsellers, so we'll see what happens.

Oh and i know you guys dont remember every post lol, i simply put that there for people to re-read if they wish

sorry for all the confusion xx

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