I think i'm going to leave Blogger for a little bit, i'll be back one day, but its too much atm. Sorry to all of my kind followers who have been there through the thick and thin. You mean the world to me and you'll each have a special place in my heart. And i'm esspecially sorry to all my new followes: not the best way to start off.
I'll be back when my head clears and i feel happy again.
Until then, enjoy some apt drawings i did.
Ttyl, Jack
(The first song Peter posted once we started dating)
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Friday, 18 February 2011
URGH! WHY CANT I DO ANYTHING FUCKING RIGHT!?!?! :'(
So I’ve told you guys about Ariel and I’ve mentioned Ursula (here), but I haven’t explained my relationship with my other sister.
She is four years older than me and he acts like she is 4 years old. We used to fight over the TV remote and silly thing like that when I was like 12, but the scary thing? She was 16. We’ve never had a great relationship.
Growing up with someone who insults you at every chance they get isn’t fun. Or when they lie. Or steal. Or hit. Etc.
I remember once she stole £180 off me because she spent her wages. Another time she stole my phone and when I confronted her, she said she didn’t have it ... for me to follow her up the stairs leaning into my room putting it back ... TO CONTINUE TO SAY SHE HADN’T TOUCHED IT, WHILE HOLDING IT!
I’ve always told myself if she got arrested, I’d leave her there to rot.
She just has a destructive personality. I mean, she does NOTHING around the house chore-wise and she’ll go missing for days on end, just to turn up and be a bitch to everyone.
Here’s an example of an average conversation we’ll have.
6pm: She comes home
7.45: she asks Ariel for a lift to work (to start at 8)
She moans, complains and whines when Ariel says no.
She goes back upstairs to finish getting ready.
7.55: she asks again for a lift, in a stress this time. The answer is a no.
She storm upstairs.
She roots around in dad’s bedroom for change.
8.00: she pleads for a lift, and blames Ariel for being late.
After a no, she’ll go back upstairs yelling about how she’ll lose her job.
8.15: bitching she asks one last time, defeated so it’s more of a “so you’re not going to give me a lift?!”
8.20: she storm out of the house bitching.
8.30: me or Ariel will get a text demanding for us to leave her a key.
We say no, and she bitches about how she’ll sleep on the curb. She won’t. Either we’ll leave a key or she’ll bang on the door until someone answers.
Then she got in a mood because my family arranged to have a drink on Thursday and she cant make it. But actually we decided to have a meal and go out next weekend BECAUSE she cant make it.
And then there is the whole ‘stop trying to act like your my mum’ dilemma, where – we all but mainly – Ariel has to constantly tell her to clean up after herself and she gets in a stress because we have to ask her to do something! GRR!
She can just be so selfish and self centred sometimes. But I cba anymore. I’ve put up with her for 18 years and I’ve usually kept my mouth shut and been quiet. But not anymore.
I’ll either yell at her, walk away or tell her to shut the fuck up ... depending on how I feel.
I mean I love her, she’s my sister, but I don’t like her one bit.
Me and Arial had a bit of a giggle the other day about what we’d do if she needed bail money. She said she’d leave her there, but I cant do that so someone. I think, honestly, that I’d pay the bail but tell them to leave her in there for a day or two and let her sweat.
Ok, so my second most in a very short space of time, but i wasn't really feeling the Valentines Day vibe today. When your unable to touch and hold the one you love, the day where this is expected kind of makes you a little down.
Me and Peter did have a little date (although the proper one is coming up, hopefully tomorow) but after that me and my sister had our own Anti-Valentines Day.
For those of you who are not accustom to the Anti-Valentines, it is basically the opposite of what the day SHOULD be.
For example, me and my sister Ariel were planing on renting out Saw 6 and Saw 7 to watch tonight. But unfortunatelly Saw 7 isn't out until the 7th of March, so we'll get it out then. Instead we ended up watching "I Love Hate Valentines Day" ... an apt name we thought.
No i'm not against the Day itself, or what it stands for, i just dont like the fact that my boyfriend is 4757 miles away (Yes ... i looked it up!).
I've kinda been in a bad mood all day. Like my friend got a little teady bear as a present from her bf, and kept rubbing it in people faces. Yes it was cute and soft and adorable, but today. Ohhhh, today! several of my friends agreed that if it was within arms distance it would very soon be an adorably soft teady bear who mysteriously is missing a head ¬ ¬
Part of me Hates Valentines Day, but part of me Loves it ...
So I finished tidying my room today, and it is CLEAN!!!
I mean, I’m not a messy person, but when you get to bed about 1am and get up at 6.30 you have to sleep as much as possible. Which leaves little time for doing those menial things like hang your clothes up. Besides, my room is so small when there is one thing on the floor, its ‘messy’, so I just leave it. And over time it piles up.
So I had a nice big spring clean. And after 3 days its finally tidy. Right now I can see my iPod and my mum’s CD Labeller as they are temporarily out. The rest has been filed away under ‘Junk’ in the filing cabinet that is my room.
...
From last time:
I even remember the game we played, over and over and over again. Its become so embedded into my mind that its the foundation for three of my novels. But that’s a story for another time
...
Well that time is now.
Its sounds corny and will make little sense to you ‘outsiders’ but it was my favourite game to play (still kinda is in a way) but after years of playing it its gotten quite detailed. Lets start with the basics.
I was originally a Pegasus Unicorn who could talk (why? To be explained in a later post) and eventually just turned into an elf. Matt was originally a pixie and then turned into an elf too. Both of these transformations were about the time we started painting Warhammer and became obsessed about elves.
So the basic story is that we are brothers who were princes to a fairytale kingdom. Complete stereotype I know. So we were brothers and ruled over this land fairly and evenly, defeating the enemies together. Each day was a different adventure, but I remember two additions to this story in particular.
Usually when we went swimming we played the exact same version, guaranteed. We were caught in a storm (the tidal wave section of the pool we have) and were swimming around the ocean being attacked by monsters, caught in rapids (as coincidentally there were rapids there) and washed up on land. This went on for the several hours we would be swimming for.
But this soon ended and I actually miss playing this titanic-inspired game whenever I swim.
The other times was around his dad’s house. He took me to a huge field nearby and I remember it like it was yesterday.
We were brotherly elves, as usual, only this time there was an evil sorcerer who was trying to take the kingdom! We fought our way to him, against the invisible fiends, no help was coming so we were alone. And along the way we discovered that there was an ancient stone that we needed to defeat him, hidden in a tree somewhere.
Then, all of a sudden, he cast a spell on my brother and he turned against me. A vicious battle ensued where we fought one another for what seemed like hours. I won and neither of us died. It ended in a cataclysmic battle for the stone hidden in a tree stump: that we later made our base.
Me and Matt were highly imaginative children. Once we got really into this game – I forget what its called – where you collected dragon figurines, castle pieces and army men to build your own kingdom and army to be attacked by dragons. There were about 6 or so sets to collect. I got three and he got three and we shared them.
Oh the fun we had.
Once we went around his nans house. We took over her house. We had about 3 castles dotted around her house, combining all of the sets we collected – much like Lego – and were attacked by dragons and then each other and then this mysterious fiend who keeps popping up.
Little was I to know that we were not in danger from this fiend, but other, more real ones, who would later become my ‘friends’.
...
The day eventually came where Me and Matt were drawn apart. Unlike what you hear in stories and tales, it happened overnight. I was ill one day I think, and when I was in school the next day, Matt had made some new friends.
I was ok with this, I didn’t mind sharing my one friend.
I was a kind of lonely kid :/
But these new friends wanted to do other things. Things I wasn’t into. Like football. I didn’t see the point in kicking a ball around for 20 mins. There was absolutely no achievement from that! So I spent the next week or so wondering around the playground trying to make new friends and playing on the jungle-gym.
It wasn’t fun.
So eventually I relented and played football. It was no way near as amazing as people made it out to be, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I made some new friends and had some fun. We formed a little group of five. One of which I’m good friends with now (I sit next to him in Media) and one I still pine for.
So over the years we tried different things, Warhammer, football, ect.
But the day came when we moves to secondary school. We were only 11 at the time and different schools, and living ‘so far away’ as we did it was a real strain on our relationship. We tried out very best.
We called each other once a week on a Saturday for hours upon hours. WE talked about our week. Our home life. Our hopes and dreams. We even did our French homework together! But as time moved on, we grew further apart and the phone calls stopped.
He now goes to my college and I hardly ever speak to him. I found out last year he moved across the road from me. He is literally one street over and never told me. I used to unknowingly stare at his house while waiting for the buss.
When I found out I tried to get our friendship going again: inviting him over, hosting parties so that we could hang out, becoming friends with his, ect. But 6 years is just too long and now I’m at my whit’s end.
I miss my bff like none other – I’m sorry baby but its true, just like you and Jake – but I don’t think I’ll ever have him back. Its just a pain I’ll have to live with, like many more
...
Sorry for the long segment, but I didn’t want to rush this. He was is my best friend FOREVER and I’ll always love him. Its the least he deserves.
Jack xx
P.S. Hello to my 3 new followers :)
P.P.S. Peter's been having some bad dreams lately :( so try to cheer up babe because ...
So here is a little riddle for yall. Peter sent this to me WAY back when we first started dating and I’m STILL unable to decipher it. Can you? Lol.
So continuing on my theme of “out with the old and in with the new”: my dad and sister continued to paint the house and finished while I stayed home. I was too ill and the such. But I got in the redecorating spring cleaning mood and completely tidied my floor.
I know what yall are thinking.
But despite being such a small room, my floor is constantly messy and I hate it. But its just practicality. So I sorted it all out and found a place for it.
But back to my tale
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He was my only friend, my companion, my first love, you could say, and although I will always have these memories to carry with me in my heart, they can never replace the real thing.
But you see, our friendship wasn’t just confined to the classroom: no. It was free and everywhere.
When we weren’t swimming or at school we were around each others’ houses. Once a week, every Saturday, he would be around mine, or I would be around his. Every weekend, guaranteed. I still remember the annoying buzzing of the fan he had in his room that kept me up half the night. I remember painting Warhammer with him and coordinating battle strategies for games we’d never play. I remember playing pranks on his sister.
He only lived about 15 mins away from my house, but as a child, that was forever. And I had never walked there before, so I daren’t try it. But our mum’s were good friends by this point and were accepting of this lifestyle. It often resulted in, “hi Mum Jack/Matt’s here, is it ok to stay tonight?” “ok, have fun”. Ahh, the gold old days.
One weekend he took me to his dad’s for the weekend and I had so much fun. We stayed up all night talking and doing everything a 9 year old kid should! We watched Legged Freaks (a film I still love to this day, although I was too scared to sleep at the time) and drawing our favourite Pokémon and playing battle strategy games together. We played tether-pole for hours and watched TV on his dad’s flat screen.
Now this particular weekend was also Halloween, and boy did we get up to a lot! As tradition dictated, we had to get dressed up and go trick-or-treating. I went as my usual: Dracula. But this time I wanted to impress the strangers on the mystery lane. I even got a can of spray-on hair dye, so that my pale face would look realistic with black hair. But little did I know that I’m allergic to this ridiculous thing and came up in a rash where I sprayed it lol. Oh well, all in a day’s work.
I even remember the game we played, over and over and over again. Its become so embedded into my mind that its the foundation for three of my novels. But that’s a story for another time ...
Hi, I'm Jack, I'm 19 and gay. I live in the UK and I am always here to give or take advice, or even just chat; so feel free to contact me at the_worlds_hurt@hotmail.com x
Ok, so i am just going to include this just incase i do something someone doesn't like.
I include my own pics that i take myself, but sometimes i use a picture or video that i do now own. If you see a image of you or that belongs to you and wish for it to be romoved then just email me or comment and it will be removed shortly, thank you. I do not intend to use it, and do not claim it as my own, i don't mean to offend anyone :)
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