Hey guys, I know I’ve been really lax with blogging lately, but whats worse is that I don’t have a reason. I honestly don’t.
Its not like I’ve been busy or anything, my lectures don’t start till Monday and more to the point, I’ve been spending my days doing pointless drivel to waste the hours away. So I’m sorry.
Every day I wake up early in the morning, lye in bed till about noon and then I get up. I spend my days watching television, or films, playing games or reading. Nothing productive done. Then I force myself to wait until 8 so that I can spend some time doing something different: cooking dinner. Then its back to pointless drivel till I fall asleep about 3am.
Repeat.
Normally I am happy to do this as my weeks were relatively busy before. They included lectures, exercise, nights out, socialising. But since I’ve gotten back from Christmas, everything has been a blur and everyone’s routines have been muddled up. Granted, they should settle back into comfortably consistent busyness, and fortunately that will be about a weeks time, but I’ve been both bored and for lack of a better word, lazy.
I know I should do something productive or different but I cant help it. This last week it dawned on me, that I have literally been trying to find ways to waste the day. Reading wastes an afternoon. Watching a film wastes 2 hours. Making a cup of tea wastes 5 minuets.
The mundane becomes the Monday.
And then I got to thinking, how much of our lives is wasted in this way?!
I mean, we all talk about ‘waiting for things to happen’ in some form or another, even if it is just “I don’t wait for something to happen to me”; but we rarely talk about how we waste our time.
Even waking to and from Uni is an excuse to waste time. Sure there are other reasons to do it – like less cost, more exercise, fresh air etc – but truth be told, it is because by making this trip I waste an hour and a half each day (sometimes double when I have 3 hours free between lectures).
Its ridiculous.
Sure, you may even be like me and realise that you do this and maybe even why, but then there is the matter of doing something.
I used to do something that I loved. Several things actually.
I used to hate breaks in college with a passion. Even the 20 mins I had at 10am I would help teach Media, every lunch break and every free period I would have would be spent similarly. Sure, I would make time for socialising with friends and would complain that I had to go and help out somewhere but truth be told I loved it.
I would get up early, spend my day being rushed off my feet and then get back late just in time to have a bite to eat and then I’d be off out again to volunteer at a youth group.
I long for those days. And yet, I wonder why it is that I don’t do that again. And I just cant think of a reason.
Then I think of all those people out there who do similar things. Waste their life I mean.
Those people in the ‘big city’ who try to look busy so that they wont get work, the people in suburbia sat on the sofa watching television, the elderly who sit at home waiting for the grandchildren to call.
Yes, I wonder what has happened to the world. What has changed our society and forced such a radical change in our cultural values.
Can we recover?
4 comments:
I understand your ennui. I've suffered from it, and still do to some extent. Right now I've got the fund raising event to keep me busy, but until this kicked into high gear, I was exactly the same way. Not sure what causes it because while I'd be sitting around looking for ways to kill time, I'd be thinking "I ought to get my ass up and do something productive". Argh! Then I tend to start thinking that I'm just a waste of space. You could get on chat occasionally, miss talking, dude!
Peace <3
Jay
Hi there, Jack
Please don't feel bad about not posting: blogging shouldn't be an obligation - it's something you do because it's enjoyable or useful to you in some way.
About your current state of mind:
First, I don't think you need to spend all your time on things that are overtly "productive" - it's good to have some time to think and reflect, for example. I find walking is good for this (as well as being a good form of exercise), especially if I'm off main roads and can let my mind "free-wheel", as it were. And reading is almost always useful, in the long term at least - the ideas go in and can "ferment" for years, perhaps, until they become relevant or useful. I think this may well be particularly true for you, as an artistic and creative person.
Second, like Jay, I have suffered and can still suffer from the same thing. For me, blog-land and the people I have found here have been very helpful: I have an external focus of a sort that I didn't have before, that can keep me occupied and give me a sense of being useful - rather like your teaching and voluntary work, I guess. It sounds as if you could do with something similar in Swansea - I would guess that there are plenty of youth groups that would welcome extra help, for example. Just be careful that it doesn't take up time that should be spent on university work.
The rest of society? I don't know. We have, on average, much more leisure time now than we had say a hundred years ago, but I'm not sure we have as a society really come to terms with that.
Take care
Mark
C'mon Jack cough up a post and tell us how you are doing, and tell Peter to get busy while you are at it. Winter is getting boring for me too but we all need a little self-prodding sometimes to get going. - Wayne :)
You are still near-perfect in my eyes!
I emailed you....hope you will respond.
Peace <3
Jay
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