I HATE BLOGGER!

Ok, so this statement is not entirely true; but it certainly frustrates me. On the one hand; it shall forever be my hero as it introduced me to a whole new world and a new community. But on the other; it keeps introducing me to people I can’t have.

The first time this happened, it was with Oliver. We exchanged emails and added each other to MSN to chat further. It started out as just us two talking and mainly me asking him for advice; but every now and again he would ask me for some, and made me feel like I was contributing to the friendship. And yes, I had not known him long but I already considered us friends. Unfortunately I developed a crush on a guy who lived in a different country; and try as I might, I couldn’t change things. Eventually, we stopped talking as much as he switched to Twitter leaving Blogger – and me – in the dust.

But once this happened, I swore that I would not develop a crush on another blogger; how wrong I was. I had two people who seemed very interested in my blog (Jay and Peter) and so this interest lead to a mutual friendship and regular conversations over MSN. As many of you know, Peter is also 17, but he lives in Texas ... sound familiar? I eventually picked up the courage to add his MSN to my contacts list and waited for the inevitable ‘decline’, but it never came. Instead I found myself having a strangely friendly and open conversation with this amazing blogger and person. Unlike previous conversations where you introduce yourself to one another, this one flowed freely and within a matter of seconds it was as if we had been friends for ages! I was tempted to make a comment on how easy this all felt, but I didn’t want to risk things. That night, after about a 2 hour long conversation, we decided to ‘call’ each other over MSN (audio conferencing) enabling us to communicate without the need to type: as well as getting to listen to each other’s sexy accent. We spent a good few hours talking online, getting to know one another and talking about our experiences and families; which I also has a brief conversation with them two.

On the second day, I was on MSN most of the day as I usually am, and Peter had just come online after his workout. Well half. He explained how he was just taking a short break from his workout and then we would return to do the other 30 minutes. We ended up talking for about 2 hours, before we both had to go and mutually decided to end the conversation; but by then the damage was already done. That night, Peter was online again, and so we chatted and got to know one another in further depth. Ironically, I was just about to sign off of MSN and was just hoping that Peter would come online, when he did, and so I got little sleep that night. Eventually we opened up a video call (with audio) and I finally got to see the face of the person I had been secretly drooling over for the last two days; and MAN, DID NE NOT DISSAPOINT! Somehow we got onto the topic of cock size and who was bigger, and this lead to some interesting webcam sessions ... I had NEVER done anything over the internet before, but I really liked this guy and I trusted him for some reason. Pretty soon we expanded our little ‘show and tell’ operation into a mutual masturbation, via webcam. Although I have done some stuff with guys before, we had never done something at the same time let alone in different countries. We stayed up all night (well I did, peter stayed up until about 2am, haha) talking, gossiping, wanking and bitching. It was great fun, but the sexual tension was intense; we jacked off at least twice each that night to each other (including a Doctor’s outfit) ... and even more alone. We then took, and traded, some pictures of ourselves, and checked out each other's computer's to get a better understanding of the other. Sadly, the night had to end, and when my dad had left for work I knew it was time to say good night. So we did.

So onto yesterday. I checked out Peter’s blog (as I am reading it from scratch) and found a new post that said “talking to this amazing new blogger(who I have a slight crush on and who looks omg amazing)" , so I knew that I was taking a leap of faith that this mysterious blogger was me, but it all seemed to fit. I WAS a new blogger, I had a crush on HIM, and he had complimented my appearance the night before; and we had spent all night talking. So we got talking again and got on like a house on fire; and had another jack off session, when we finally admitted that we liked each other. One problem: there is an ocean between us. Sure I believe that a long distance relationship could work, but even IT has its limits. You need physicality in a relationship, not just sexual tension, spirituality and emotional attraction. But despite this we still had a fun time having yet another jack off sessions, as well as some games of Truth or Dare, and Have you ever?

Sure we should probably stop seeing each other and go ‘cold turkey’, but neither of us want to. Just because we can’t be together does not mean that our emotions are not real. Our feelings to one another are reality, but sadly the reality of the situation is too much. Why can’t he just live closer. The same continent even. We are perfect for each other, want the same things, and both really like each other, but mother nature is constraining our opportunities for love.  I know that we have only known each other for a few days, but it seems like more, and when I’m with him I feel happy. I really hate Blogger for doing this to me; but I love it as it introduced us. Confused? We are.
 - Ttyl Jack xx