Cake and Jake

Ok, so I have spent most of the day doing homework for tomorrow ... well actually, procrastinating. I literally spent 4 hours today doing two pages of work, because I kept thinking about Joel. I was just struggling to find the concentration and motivation. I mean, why should I sit there and write about some boring sociology framework, when I should be out there with the ones I love. Living life to the fullest?! So when I finally finished my essay, I wrote a short message to my teacher appolagising for it being shit and late, so hopefully she wont yell at me too much tomorrow :/

The thing that got to me today was cake. But it wasn’t just any cake; it was Joel’s 18^th Birthday cake. As you all know, we all met up on sat (Joel’s Birthday) and we all forgot to bring a cake, so I said that I would make one and bring it in on Monday. So I started to make it and I just broke down and cried in my kitchen for about half an hour. I got really emotional as he wouldn’t be there to eat it with us tomorrow and that he never reached his 18^th. It’s just a plain sponge, but it is so much more than that ...

So onto the second part of today’s post: Jake. My coming out story.

So I had already come out to one other person, but he didn’t really count (no offence Oliver lol), but I mean, I hadn’t told anyone that I knew in person. I had a choice of people I wanted to tell, but I felt that it should be Jake, as we are best friends and share a lot of secrets. The fact that he is also bi may have played a small part in it too :P So one day we were on MSN and I had been toying with the idea of telling someone with Oliver when Jake came on MSN and we got talking. We tend to have a fairly flirtatious way of talking to each other, so will use a lot of innuendos and sexual jokes about each other, but this time we got onto the topic of sex, wanking and experiences. This is how it went ...

Jake: I still recon your bi

Me: why do you say that?

Jake: You just have a biness about you

Me: hahaha. And what do you mean “still” ?

Jake: Whoops

Me:  tell me

Jake: I just thought it for a while

...

Jake: Erm ... I don’t really know, a few years

Me: oh. You could have told me and saved me a lot of hassle

Jake: Hassle?

Me: Yh, I am [bi] lol but you can’t tell ANYONE

So that was my coming out story. Once again, I know it wasn’t anything special, but at the time it was like a sign or something. I mean, only the night before I was talking to Oliver about coming out, and then he comes out with “I still recon your bi” and I was like :O. I knew that there wouldn’t be a problem with him accepting me as he is bi too, and with the constant flirting I felt like I had to do it. Although I will say this. If there is someone who you are thinking of telling, and if they flirt with you, AMP IT UP! That’s what I did, and that was how/why he said what he did. I made it quite obvious that I was bi (and liked him but that’s another story) which put the ball in his court, so to speak. So I say, try to leave it up to them, or at the very least ease them into it with sum subtle hints.

- Ttyl Jack xx