Regrets

Since i was a child, aged about 7, i had wanted to be a writer. Despite constantly changing what career i wanted to go into, i knew that in a perfect world, i would be a writer.

I wanted to bing some joy to others that i had felt when i read books. I wanted people to see my work and read it over and over again, like the likes of C.S. Lewis. I wanted people to remember me.

I decided to write a series of books about the childhood games that i used to play with my best friend. I spent years perfecting the story arc and coming up with names, writing and re-writing them and finaly i began to produce something of passable quality.

My first novel Life by Moonlight was born.

You see, this was going to be my legacy. I knew that as long as i completed at least this novel, that i had been planning since i was such a small child, then i could leave this world happy.

I would have produced somehting that might influence someone. If just one child picked up my book and liked it, perhaps teaching them something along the way, then my life-long goal would be complete.

For you see, i dont have regrets, i dont believe in them. But i do have things that i want to do in my life and things i would ordinarily be upset by if they never came true.

I mean, as i write this, i know the chanced of me completing this novel are steadily growing slimmer, and before a few weeks ago i would have been really upset. This one thing that i wanted to leave behind for others to see and remember me by would be lost along with me.

But i realised that i do have something that i've left behind for others to remember me by. Yes, there is the whole lovey-dovey stuff about memories and love and all that, but i mean stuff that people who dont know me or wont know me, may have the chance to.

My blog.

This blog has documented most of my thoughts, fears and wishes for the last 10 months. I have poured my soul into this blog and i hope it shows. This IS who i am, and it will be here long after i'm gone. Most people ownt know it is there, but hidden within there is advice for those who need it, a lgiht for those who are lost and inspiration for those who lack it.

No, i dont have regrets, but i hope ... i leave a memory behind me.