Why is it tat whenever i try to do something nice, i end up fucking it up?
I'm hosting an awards ceremony at my college and i got sent the nomonee's list. I told my media partner what WE are nominated for and i told my bff what she's nominated for. Apparently i shouldnt have done this as it was suposed to be a surprise (my teacher says) but she didnt tell me this. Plus, its suposed to be similar to the Oscars ... where the nomonee's arnt secret any way lol.
So after being told off and finding out my friends told several other people, i have this convo with my partner:
(the only other thing you need to know is you can only win 2 awards, we are nominated for about 4 together and 1 seperately. The one seperately is for best contribution to the department).
€Chris:
i dont think i'm gunna bother with the awards ceremony
Jack:
?
€Chris:
whats the point, your gunna be winning everything
Jack:
no i'm not
Chris:
pretty much are
Jack says:
chip, for most of it, WE will win
and there is only one catagory where we're competing
Chris:
yeah, and the ones where appaz we'll be winning, you can claim and the one we're competing in is a pure set up for your win, and i worked my ass off for the department while also keeping up with the rest of my cwk and legal issues i've had, my name is only on that list to fill runners up slots and you know it
Jack:
no its not chip
i dont want to accept OUR award (if there is any tbh lol) if your not there :(
because it was a team effort
and you've worked just as hard as i have in the department, and i know sophie both appreciates it and recognises it
€Chris:
bollocks, she recognises the volunteer time you've put in to the department where i've had to focus on cwk
Jack:
ok, sure my volenteer time is more obvious from an outsider, but she'll know how much effort you've put in
tbh, it depends how she's going to make it
she might go for the most time spent there, it might be the most students we've helped, it might be the number of projects, it could be the most in relation to our individual stuff etc
€Chris:
yeah and she'll just be like, oh jacks always here always commited where she doesnt see most the shit i do for that department and right now i cant go through with the false hope that for once i might be appreciated and my work recognised, i've got shit heading my way that week and i dont think i'm going to be able to handle it jack, you can accept the group awards but i dont think i can
Jack:
my point was we dont know how she will mark the awards
but ok, if you dont think your up to it then fine, but please dont try to pick a fight with me Chip
€Chris:
fuck it i'm just gunna go, i've had it with everything at the moment i might as well just drop out of college and fucking give up on life
Now, i know he has been through a lot and to be honest (without sounding big headed) i probably will win this award, but i dont want that to be the reason he doesnt go. He isnt serious about "giving up on life" and dropping out of college, i know him too well for that, but i do know that these may happen at some point, if that makes sense.
I just felt like he was trying to pick a fight and blame me for something, and well, any advice? as i have no idea how to apprach the subject again :/
5 comments:
Oh wow. He sure sounds like he's down on himself. And sometimes it's easier to strike out at even a friend and classmate than accept that. I don't know how to try to convince him to be there, and yes it would seem weird to accept group awards that he is a part of without him. But hey, he's an adult like you, and if he chooses to stay away for some perceived slight that hasn't even occurred and well might not, then that's his decision, isn't it? Perhaps he'll calm down and show up. Or you could hire a pair of kidnappers to bring him. Wish I had some good advice, Jack...
Peace <3
Jay
I don't have any advice on how to deal with him, other than to remain as friendly and encouraging as reasonably possible without letting him manipulate you. If you have to talk to him about it again, give it as light a touch as possible, while assuring him that you'll be sorry if he isn't there to accept if you win the joint award.
As for how to deal with the situation, realize, as Jay said, that Chris makes his own decisions. And remember and keep reminding yourself that it will all be over the day after the awards ceremony. Of course you want to do the best you can, and you want it to go smoothly and everybody to be happy. But whatever happens, it will be over the next day, and you'll go on with your life and so will everybody else. Some deserving people will win. Some deserving people won't win because they can't all win. Hopefully no undeserving people will win, but that's out of your hands.
Hi there, Jack
I'm not sure I can say much more than Jay and naturgesetz already have (and my brain doesn't work well at this time of night anyway). I would just suggest that you go to the ceremony, accept joint awards on your own if Chris isn't there, and, if you're able to given the event format, publicly thank him for his part in the two of you winning any joint awards.
*hugs*
Mark
I dunno Jack; maybe something simple like; 'You are my friend and I want you to go!'. He feels a little put out and unappreciated so be sure to give him credit if you win. bfn - Wayne :)
Thanks for all the help guys x turns out he chose to ignore the whole incident and things are back to normal for the moment. Although i wanna talk to him about it and see if he wants to open up.
And not quite sure what you mean Wayne. If we win as a joint, of course i'd give him credit, but tbh i wont if i win on my own lol.
Although also just found out that we all one the individual awards :P xx
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