The Fence

Ok, so I’m really behind in my posting, but I wanted to do this as the post before I got the answer so they’d be together, but then things got in the way and stuff, so here they are together! Also,  I will say now that this post is a combination of FACT and OPINION! If I say it is what happened then it is fact, or if I say something like “makes me think” or “makes me feel” then that is opinion! Thanks lol x

 

So hopefully, that got your interest haha, but this is going WAY back to an old post (here) where I announced that Me and Peter had broke up.

 

Well since then I have felt kind of torn, because me and Peter have kept in contact but we have also said how much we love each other and wish we could be together, but then Peter says that we cant because of the distance. (which I feel is complete crap, as I was accepting and willing of ANYTHING! Like, if he had said he wanted another bf I would have said ok because I would have had him in my life so I find it a little difficult to believe that reason). But we went on and discussed it further anyway.

 

 

So basically I felt like I was being kept on the fence all the time. One moment I’m being told to move on and that we cant be together, and yet I couldn’t move on because he was saying how he loved me and wanted me back. Always on the fence, just a gentle breeze from tipping one way or another.

Eventually I said enough is enough and gave him an ultimatum: take me back now or else we will never be together again.

I know it sounds harsh ... never again ... but he had to know I was both serious and that he couldn’t just brush it off like last time. Where he just said ‘if we get back together then ok’. I could do that! Not again!

So I gave him the ultimatum (and I HATE giving ultimatums) and gave him roughly 2-3 weeks for his answer. No rush.

 

 

I will be honest now, in a way I didn’t really care what his answer was at this point, because I could either:

• Move on and be happy.
• We would get back together and be happy.

 

So I just needed his answer! I was incredibly tempted to just tell him NO ITS OVER FOEVER! Because I was certain of his answer and I hated being kept on that damn fence! But I couldn’t make the decision because then I would be left with the “what if ...” for the rest of my life. I had to at least give him the chance to have a say in it.

 

He didn’t.

 

 

 

In the end he got a bit upset and we had a little argument nad he ended it by saying that he will answer 20 questions honestly, no matter what.

 

But I only needed one (well two in the end).

This is our conversation:

Me: Do you have a min?

Peter: Yeah always have a min but no drama today

Me: sorry, thats probably about to change :(

Peter: Y

Me: well you know you said you'd give me 20 questions, well i only need one.

Peter: Ok, what it is?

Me: when we first started dating, i went out and bought something from the shop to remind me of you every time i used it. what was it?

Peter: You never told me about it

Me: I did, because they didnt do the right type, but it didnt stop me.

Peter: No you didn’t

Me: I did. its food. thats all i'm saying. although i have one more question after because this is simple now.

Peter: Food?

Me: Yes.

Peter: My mind isnt clickin

Me: the other question is, what was the first film we watched together

Peter: Toy Story 3

Me: You sure??

Peter: We tried watching others but never finished them

Me: did i ask for the first whole film, or the first film?

Peter: I sorry see i am crap bf not worth it

Me: dont be. i'm just interested to see if you can remember these mor subtle parts of our relationship and if they meant anything to you at all :'(

Peter: They did but to remember everything jack espeically right now when hi am stressed to hell is impossible

Me: yes, but its those hidden moments i was interested to see if you noticed. i know you cant remember everything but the way my hair fell isnt quite as substancial to me. and your not the only one who's stressed to hell :(

Peter: Ok well talk later hangin with bros

Me: ok. and keep thinking, the questions arnt over until you give up x have fun and i'm sorry xx

Peter: You are not and fine i give up

Me: K

Peter: I really love ya but yeah i am not doing this this will just lead to drama jack

Me: I really am sorry but its ok, i know all i need to know.

Peter: Good that i am not the bf you wanted? Even thought i did this instantly when i got the package

Me: did what?

Peter: The everything [placing presents/pictures/cards I send him around the room etc]

Me: and no, not because your not the bf i wanted, but that you never will be. If your not even going to bother thiking back over the 3 films we watched together, then i know this is goodbye to US, i gave you a chance, an ultematum and you didnt respond, so now i'm saying goodbye and i hope we can actually move on with our lives and can be friends. and i truely am sorry for ading drama to your drama-free day x

Peter: I guess thats how it has to be then

Me: at least its one less thing for you to stress over.

 

 

And thats it! I had to get a final answer and in the end I had to make it because he didn’t. I’m sure I over-reacted but this test had two parts to it:

• To see if peter could remember those private and ore hidden moments that meant an incredible amount to me
• To see how dedicated peter was to US

 

The second of which was the most important, and also hurt the most! He couldn’t be arsed to think back over the THREE films we watched together (only one fully) and let me know. I couldn’t be arsed to take some time and think. He just couldn’t be arsed! [Ok, well in accordance to my intro, I should state this is my opinion, but still, how else can I interpret it?!?!!]

So yh, me and Peter are officially OVER once and for all! No turning back! It still stings a lot and have cried numerous times since then, but at least now we can move on. I hope ...